


Bury My Heart

by TamscendingGender



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death Fix, I Need To Stop Writing Resurrection Fics, M/M, The Rest of the Nein Are There At The End, i will not stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 13:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18469978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamscendingGender/pseuds/TamscendingGender
Summary: The first thing he felt was dirt. Cool, wet, heavy dirt pressing into his face, filling his lungs, his eyes, his nose. He choked on it, tried to breathe it in, but there was nothing but soil to breathe. He clawed at the dirt, trying to find something that was not soil, searching desperately for something that did not choke him. It took him so long, ages of crawling and gasping, before his fingers broke the surface. He clambered up, clutching at the soft earth. The air felt sweet in his lungs, and he fell onto the grass, retching and choking on the remaining dirt in his chest.Mollymauk Tealeaf has come back from the dead, but without his memories or words. Caleb Widogast has been separated from the rest of the Nein, and is in the wild, injured and alone. When they meet by the side of the Glory Run Road, they set off towards Zadash, hoping that they can find their friends and get Molly's memories back before the wilds claim them.





	1. In The Cool Grave

**Author's Note:**

> This is an odd fanfic I wrote originally just for myself, but then my friend read it and was all over it so I decided I'd post it here! Enjoy! All the titles for the chapters are from songs off of my personal Widomauk playlist, except for the first chapter.  
> The title of the whole piece is from 'Ghosts That We Knew' by Mumford and Sons, and this first title is from a folksong called 'Mein Schatz, der ist auf die Wanderschaft hin' (translation here: http://www.lieder.net/get_text.html?TextId=22763)

The first thing he felt was dirt. Cool, wet, heavy dirt pressing into his face, filling his lungs, his eyes, his nose. He choked on it, tried to breathe it in, but there was nothing but soil to breathe. He clawed at the dirt, trying to find something that was not soil, searching desperately for something that did not choke him. It took him so long, ages of crawling and gasping, before his fingers broke the surface. He clambered up, clutching at the soft earth. The air felt sweet in his lungs, and he fell onto the grass, retching and choking on the remaining dirt in his chest.

When he had sucked in enough deep, clean, filling breaths, he looked down at his hands in the grass. They were lavender, and covered in thin white scars. The nails were dark blue, and in places were chipped to reveal a darker purple underneath. He studied them, fascinated. He was purple. He looked down at the rest of him and saw a ripped and bloody white shirt tucked into dirt-smeared striped pants. His boots were knee-high and caked with dirt. Crumpled on the ground beside him was a tapestry. He crawled over to it and unfolded it, straightening it out. It was huge, and under the mud featured a white embroidered dragon flying through a dark blue background. He cocked his head, studying it. What did it mean? He could not fathom it.

Finished with his immediate surroundings, he glanced up at the sky. It was dark, and filled with glowing stars. Next to where he had crawled out of the ground was a road, well travelled and packed flat. He sat up and looked left and right. A pole was stuck in the ground beside the hole he had climbed out of. Hanging from it was a patchwork coat. He stood and walked over to it. Something about it was familiar. He picked it up, turned it over in his hands. It had a couple of splashes of blood on it. He put it on. It hung nicely on his shoulders, as if it were his. Maybe it was. He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember anything. He hesitated, frowning. That wasn’t right. Why couldn’t he remember anything? Something was wrong, but he could not figure it out.

After he had adjusted the coat to his satisfaction, he went back to the tapestry and folded it up neatly. It had been buried with him; that had to mean something. He did not know what, though. When he had finished that, he crouched beside it, considering his options. He did not know where he was, or who he was. He had no idea where to go.

“ _Mein Schatz, der ist auf die Wanderschaft hin…_ ” A voice drifted past his ears, and he turned his head towards the sound. It was coming from behind the hill. It was a good voice, and carried the tune well, but it was quiet and shook with something that he could not place. “ _Vielleicht ist er...tot...und liegt in...in guter Ruh,_ ” He followed the sound, slinging the tapestry over his shoulder. It was heavy. “ _Als ich mit meinem Schatz in die Kirche wollt gehn,_

 _Viel falsche, falsche Zungen unter der Türe stehn._ ” He rounded the corner of the hill and saw the singer.

He was leaning against a lonely tree standing in the center of the sparse grass that covered the surrounding area. His head was bent down to his single bent knee, and his tangled red hair fell over his face. The other leg was stretched out in front of him. Sticking out of the top of his boot and ending just above his knee was a navy blue, ragged, bloody, makeshift bandage of some kind. He was wearing a ragged coat that had splashes of old blood on it, and there was blood stuck in his hair.

“ _Ach, herzliebster Schatz, ich bitte dich noch...noch…_ ” The man raised his head and stared at the man from the ground. He had a sparse ginger beard and piercing blue eyes that were wide with fear. “Who’s there?” he called in a trembling voice. The man from the ground stopped, wondering why he could not see him. He could see the man fine. The other man stood awkwardly, one hand clinging to the tree. “Who is there?” he repeated, raising his free hand. He muttered something under his breath, and four glowing balls of light flew into the air. The scene brightened, and the man’s eyes widened even furthur. “Molly... _Molly_ ?” he whispered. “You...you are…. _Mollymauk_.”

The man from the ground stayed where he was, watching the other man. Something about him tugged at his brain. He should know who this man was. He opened his mouth, then closed it. How was he saying words? The man limped over to him and stopped, watching him. “Molly?” he said cautiously. “Are you….oh. Oh.” There was blood and dirt smeared on his face, and in a few place tears had traced cleaner paths down his cheeks. “You do not have your memories.” The man from the ground watched him, blinking slowly. That was true. “Um...well...you are Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to your friends. That’s a good start.” Mollymauk Tealeaf. He turned it over in his brain. It was a good name. _Molly to your friends._ Was this man his friend?

“I am Caleb Widogast.” the man continued. “Caleb. We had….we have more people in our group. They are….they are not here. You are...oh _Scheiße,_ where do I start?” He started mumbling in a language that Molly did not recognize. _Molly_ . That was his name. And this man was Caleb. _Caleb Widogast_. Something stirred in his brain, then went back to sleep. “Come...come here. We should...I should sit down.” He turned and limped back to the tree. Molly followed him and sat cross legged across from him, watching him. He trusted this man, somehow.

“Oh, you found your tapestry.” Caleb said, smiling tiredly and nodding at the rolled cloth Molly was holding. “You loved...you love that thing. It is so useless, but...you liked...like useless things.” He rubbed his face. “OK. Mollymauk Tealeaf. Who are you?” Molly pointed at himself, then at Caleb, then turned his head in a questioning gesture. “Who am I?” No. “Oh! How...how did we meet?” Molly nodded. “My friend Nott and I, we were in a bar, and you...you came advertising your circus.” Caleb laughed at that. “ _Bei den Göttern_ , that feels like decades ago, but it was only...only a year. We went to the circus; you and your friend, your friend Yasha, you were very persuasive. There was an attack at the circus. A devil toad...thing. It made people into monsters. We killed it. You, and I, and Nott, and our friends Jester and Beau and Fjord.” His voice cracked a bit as he listed the names. “Then...but then the circus fell apart, and you came with us. We traveled to Zadash, we had a few adventures, we grew closer as a group. Became known. We were hired by the Gentleman, he sent us on some tasks….we completed them. You did not. You….were killed. On that road.” He pointed past the hill with a trembling finger. Molly followed his finger. He did not know how to feel about this new knowledge. _This was the road he had died on._ Unconsciously, he raised his hand his chest and felt a jagged tear in his shirt, where the bloodstain was. Caleb watched him, a strange expression in his eyes.

“Do you want to know….what you were like? What you are like?” he asked cautiously. Molly considered, then nodded slowly. Caleb smiled faintly and rubbed his face. “Well….you were a unique person, that is certain. You...you liked colorful things.” Molly fingered the edge of his coat, and Caleb smiled. “ _Ja,_ like that. You….you always wanted to help people. You are….what did Nott say? A...a rainbow man. You were...are... _schiesse_ ...you care about people. You...oh, _Gottverdammt_ , I don’t know what I’m doing!” He buried his face in his hands. Molly paused, then reached a hand across to brush Caleb’s shoulder with his fingers. He was not sure what he was feeling. It was something like...he wanted to protect Caleb. Caleb was hurting, and he needed to fix it, but he wasn’t sure how, or why he was feeling that way. He frowned in frustration.

“ _Es tut mir Leid,_ Mollymauk.” Caleb said, looking up. There were tears pooling in his eyes. “I...it has been a hard day. We can...we should make camp. We should sleep, and deal with this in the morning.” He rubbed his face. Molly reached over and gently tapped on the bit of bloody cloth sticking out of his boot. Caleb frowned at him. “What...oh. What happened to my leg?” Molly nodded. “I...I was escaping. Some men, they took me while I was on watch to try and hold me ransom. I fled, and they shot me.” Molly absently tucked the cloth closer around Caleb’s leg. “ _Danke,_ _Schatz._ ” Caleb said. A tear fell down his cheek, cutting a clean path through the layers of grime and blood, and he rubbed it away. “Here….I will sit watch first. You can sleep.” Molly fidgeted with his coat, then shook his head and pointed emphatically at himself. Caleb chewed his lip. “All right. I will...I will light a fire, so it does not get too cold. Wake me when the larger moon is there.” He indicated a place in the sky. Molly committed it to memory and nodded. Caleb picked up a few branches from the ground, arranged them in a neat pile, and carefully lit them on fire with his hands. Molly watched him, fascinated. _Caleb could make fire with his hands._ Something about this wove its way into his head and tried to pull something out, but it was gone before he could grasp it. “ _Guten Nacht_ , Molly.” Caleb murmured, wrapping himself in his coat and lying down beside the fire. Molly watched him through the fire, trying to process the past hour.

 

\------

 

It took Caleb a long time to get to sleep, and it felt like barely two hours had passed before he was gently shaken awake by Molly. The combination of pain from his leg and anxiety over how on _earth_ he and Molly were supposed to find the rest of the Nein in the state they were both in had kept him from getting a restful sleep, but it was sufficient. Molly curled up next to the fire, his knees pulled up to his chest and his tail wrapped around his legs. Caleb hesitated for a moment, then tucked his coat around the sleeping tiefling.

“ _Ach,_ Mollymauk, what are we going to do?” he asked the darkness. “You do not know who you are, and I cannot walk very far. They must be close to Zadash by now. The bandits took me far before I escaped, and it is two weeks on horse from here. I do not trust people on these roads. If we are lucky, Jester will use Sending to find me. If we are lucky.” He sighed, rubbing his face. He needed a shave. “Molly, _Schatz_ , I...I have so many things I need to tell you, but you will not understand them. I guess this is what I get. The fates, they are not kind to me.” He laughed darkly. “They give me the man I love back, but he does not remember me.” He leaned his head on his arms, propping them on the knee of his good leg. Molly whimpered in his sleep and tossed his head to the side. Caleb reached over to stroke his hair. “ _Shh, Liebling, es ist in Ordnung. Ich bin da._ ” he murmured. “ _Ich bin da_.” Molly mumbled something unintelligible and settled down. Caleb sighed, brushed a lock of hair out of Molly’s face, and wrapped his arms around his knee. He leaned his head on his arm again and settled down to watch the fire until it died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (disclaimer: these are all put together from google translate and random googlings, I don't speak as much german as I would like to and would very much appreciate any corrections if needed!!!):  
> Bei den Göttern-by the gods  
> Es tut mir Leid-I'm sorry  
> Shh, Liebling, es ist in Ordnung. Ich bin da. -Shh, darling, it's alright. I'm here


	2. So Much They Hold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This title is from 'I Won't Give Up' by bicon Jason Mraz

They made the best of a random packet of dried meat Caleb found in his coat for breakfast the next morning. The bandits had not taken anything Caleb had when they had captured him, which was a blessing. He was not sure why they had left his coat alone, but he accepted it. His books were safe in their holsters, and the various bits of paper and pencils and, apparently, dried meat in his pockets were still his. Molly perched like a strange bird next to the fire, eating the food and watching Caleb.

“This road will lead us to Hupperdook, if we follow it.” Caleb said when he had finished. “I am wary of keeping to the road. It is safer from animals, but I do not know who could be riding down it from the north. We are very vulnerable, you and I.” Molly tipped his head to the side, processing this. “The problem is, I do not know how to get back to Zadash across the country. I do not have a map, and I do not know this part of the world.” Molly frowned, then pointed at the road. “That is our best option.” Caleb admitted. “Like I said, I do not like it. You do not have weapons other than your magic, and I am injured. Even if we were fit and healthy, and even if you had your swords, I would still not like it.” He sighed. “I suppose...I suppose we can walk along the road and hide in the trees if we hear someone coming. But if we are surprised…” He left the sentence hanging. “There are strange things in this country. We were attacked by very large insects when we were traveling...to Shady Creek Run. Before...you...before you died.” Molly made a face, and Caleb was not sure if it was in reaction to the large insects or the death part.

“We should get moving.” he said, pushing himself to his feet and wincing when he put weight on his injured leg. “There is only so much sunlight in the day, and we will move very slowly.” Molly stood up, too, and followed Caleb to the road.

They made shockingly good time, despite Caleb’s leg. He managed to shove the pain to the back of his mind and keep walking. Molly kept shooting him concerned looks, but Caleb ignored them. They needed to get back to Zadash, and then they could worry about Caleb’s injury. His ribs had started throbbing from where one of the bandits had kicked him, but he ignored that too. They didn’t see any other travelers during that first day. Caleb hoped that would continue for as long as possible. He didn’t want to know what other people would think of a dirt-covered tiefling with no voice walking along with a bloody Zemnian beggar. He hoped they wouldn’t have to find out.

They spent the night in a small hollow in the side of a hill beside the road, huddled together against the cold. Caleb set out his thread around the campsite, then fell asleep on watch, his head resting on Molly’s horn. Nothing disturbed them, and they woke up to wet grass and no wood to fuel a fire. The dried meat would last them another few days, and then they would have to start hunting.

As they walked through the mud of the road, Caleb started telling Molly about all the things they had done together, and all the things the Nein had done since Molly’s death. Molly listened with an intensity that Caleb had only seen in him during battle. It was a little unnerving. They paused at midday to drink a little water and rest their legs. Caleb knew he really should check on his arrow wounds, but he didn’t have another bandage to use. As they were sitting, he spotted a cluster of flowers near the edge of the trees. He stood and hobbled over to pick a bunch.

“Look at this, Mollymauk.” he said upon returning. Molly held out his hands, and Caleb gave him a few. “Yasha likes flowers.” he said. “I will try to keep a few of these for her.” He took out his spellbook and placed the flowers on a blank page. Molly studied the flowers in his hands, then carefully tucked them behind his ear. They fell out, and he made a frustrated face. “Here, Molly...come here. I can fix that.” Caleb said. Molly crawled over to him and handed him the flowers. Slowly and carefully, Caleb began to braid the flowers into Molly’s hair. “Nott and Jester taught me to do this.” he said. “I am not as good as they are, but I can make a functional braid.” As he worked, he combed the dirt clods out of Molly’s hair and worked the tangles out with his fingers. “When we get back to Zadash, we should go to a bathhouse and just soak all this dirt out.” he commented. Molly made a noise that sounded like a laugh.

When Caleb finished, tying it off with a small piece of his silver thread, Molly put his hands up to his hair and felt the flowers carefully. It was a messy braid, but Caleb was proud of it. “You look very nice.” he said. Molly turned to him and beamed. It was the first real smile that Caleb had seen on his face since he had come out of the ground, and it made his heart ache. It made Molly look more like _Molly_ , smiling with flowers in his hair. Molly pointed at Caleb, then touched his own hair. “Do you remember how to braid?” Caleb asked. Molly shrugged, then went over to the flower patch and picked a few. He returned to Caleb and tucked them behind Caleb’s ears, making sure they were securely tucked into his hair. He smiled again. “ _Danke_ , Mollymauk.” Caleb said. He stood up. “I think now we can be on our way.” Molly spent the next few hour skipping along just ahead of Caleb, his tail swinging jauntily.

That night, they slept on the summit of a hill under the stars. Molly took first watch and sat cross legged next to the fire watching the stars. In the light of the fire and the gibbous moon, Molly almost looked like how he had before he had died. He was smiling slightly, his jewelry glittering faintly. He was beautiful. Caleb felt a sudden wave of love crash down over him. He had shoved most of his feelings to the side, focusing instead on getting to Zadash and staying alive, but after their moment with the flowers, the dam had broken and all the things he had ever felt for Molly were coming back.

“Molly…” he whispered drowsily. Molly turned towards him, a questioning look in his eyes. “ _Du bist schön, mein Schatz_.” Caleb murmured. Molly tilted his head, frowning at the unfamiliar words. “It’s nothing. Good night, Mollymauk.” Caleb said, feeling his face reddening. Molly smiled at him and returned to his contemplation of the cosmos.

 

\------

 

Molly was happy, despite everything. Some part of him told him that he shouldn’t be happy. He had no idea who he was, he couldn’t talk, and they were gradually running out of food. Those were not factors that equaled happiness, his brain said. But the sun was high in the sky, and according to Caleb they were making good time, and there were flowers along the road. Molly kept the flower braid in until the flowers fell out, and then he made Caleb redo it. He liked the feeling of flowers in his hair, and he liked the feeling of Caleb’s fingers in his hair.

He still had not figured out what his feelings for Caleb were. It had only been three days, and he could not be expected to figure things like that out with nothing but someone else’s stories of his life to go on, but somehow Molly felt that he should know why Caleb made him feel _like that_. It was hard to articulate. It was like there was a fire in Molly’s chest, and when Caleb did things, the fire got bigger and warmer. He wanted...he didn’t know what he wanted. He wanted Caleb to hold him. He wanted Caleb to braid flowers in his hair and ramble about whatever was on his mind. He wanted a lot of things, most of which he did not understand.

They stopped to rest beside a stream that Caleb found. Molly wasn’t sure how he had known it was there, but at a point in the road Caleb veered off and led them through the woods and to the bank. It was lined with smooth rocks and a few clusters of flowers. Instinctively, Molly sat down to pull his boots off and push his pants up past his knees so he could put his feet in the cold water. It felt wonderful after the days of travel.

“ _Oh,_ that feels good.” Caleb groaned, sticking the foot of his good leg into the water. His other leg was propped up on the shore. With the boot off, Molly could see that the cloth wrapped around it was soaked completely with dried blood, and the skin of the foot was an angry red. He did not think that was normal. “I am glad I remembered this is here. If my leg weren’t...like that...I would take a bath.” _Bath_. Molly felt something comparable to what he felt when Caleb braided his hair. He knew from Caleb’s rambling stories that he liked baths, but he had not realized how much he liked baths. He looked at Caleb and tried to convey with gestures and hopeful expressions that he would like to take a bath, but he was not sure if Caleb would mind.

“Mollymauk, you do not need to ask me for permission to take a bath.” Caleb said, laughing, when he finally figured out what Molly was trying to convey. There was something sad in his face that Molly could not fathom. He pushed it to the side and took all of his clothes off, making sure to put the flowers from his hair in a safe place. The clean water of the stream flowed over his dirt-covered body, and he felt he would never feel something this good again. Two braiding sessions had worked the worst of the dirt from his hair, but the water took the rest of it away. When he had finished cleaning himself, he sat up in the water and let his hair drip down into his face. Caleb was watching him with a strange expression on his face.

“You look happy.” he observed. Molly pushed his hair out of his face and nodded, smiling. He stretched out his arms and studied them. They were covered in strange thin scars and lovely, intricate tattoos. His chest had the same scars crisscrossing it. He had not seen himself naked yet, he realized. He brushed his forearm with one finger and frowned. “What is it?” Caleb asked. Molly pointed at his scars. “Oh. It is something….something to do with your sword. You would cut yourself and then the sword did...did ice damage. I am not quite sure why. You have a lot of strange blood powers.” Molly rubbed his hand over his chest, feeling the ridges of the scars. His hand moved across them to the gaudy peacock tattoo covering his right shoulder. It disappeared up his neck, and he brushed the skin there. “It goes all the way up.” Caleb told him. Molly blinked at him. “All the way up to...there.” Caleb leaned over and brushed Molly’s cheekbone with a finger. Molly moved his hand up and caught Caleb’s, pressing it against his cheek. It was warm against his cold, wet skin. They stared at each other for a long time, then Caleb gently withdrew his hand. He was blushing.

“Finish...finish up.” he said. “We should...we should be heading out.” Molly pouted, and Caleb smiled. “Don’t give me that face, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” he said, his voice cracking just a little on ‘Tealeaf’. Molly dripped out of the water and sprawled out on the grass in the sunlight. He closed his eyes, letting the rays soak into his wet skin. After a few moments, he felt Caleb’s presence next to him. He opened his eyes and turned his head towards the other man. Caleb’s hair shone faintly in the sunlight, and the light highlighted the freckles sprinkled across his face. That warm, fiery feeling came back into Molly’s chest. Caleb turned his face towards Molly, making them nose-to-nose. The blush was creeping back into his cheeks. A lock of hair fell into his eyes, and Molly reached out to brush it away. Caleb’s forehead was warm, and Molly frowned, twisting his lips in concern. He wasn’t sure if that was normal, but he knew it was warmer than his forehead. He pressed his hand to Caleb’s cheek, his thumb absently rubbing over Caleb’s beard.

“What’s wrong, Mollymauk?” Caleb asked sleepily. Molly didn’t know how to convey his concerns. He tapped Caleb on the cheek and frowned. “My...face?” Molly shook his head. “Me? What...I don’t know what you’re saying, Molly.” Caleb sighed. “Do you...hold on.” He sat up and searched through his pockets. “I have a pencil, and...yes! You have paper.” Molly sat up and frowned at him. “We wrote you a note. You must...you must not have found it yet. It’s in your coat pocket.” Molly crawled over to the pile of clothes and, as an afterthought, put his pants back on. He picked up his coat and rummaged through the pockets. There were two bits of paper in the inside pocket. Both were neatly folded and had things written on them. He offered them both to Caleb. “There are two?” Caleb asked. He took them both. “Look, this one is from me...from the Nein, and this one…” He squinted at it. “This one says….’Read Me’, but I don’t recognize the handwriting. I would keep that for later.” He handed it back to Molly, who tucked it into the pocket. “Here, read this first. It is...it is not necessary anymore, because you found me. But I think...I think it would be good...good for you to read it.” Molly unfolded the paper and squinted at the symbols on the page. He did not know if he had ever been able to read. Slowly, the marks began to form into things he recognized as words.

 

_Your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf. You are a member of the Mighty Nein. Look for us in Zadash, at the Evening Nip. Tell the barkeep that while you have no coin, you’d be willing to offer many gifts. He will take you to the Gentleman, who will be able to help you find us. We will be waiting for you._

_The Mighty Nein_

 

The letters were smeared in places, and whoever had written the note had tried a few closing lines before settling for ‘The Mighty Nein’. It took Molly a long time to decode. He guessed that before he had...died...he had not had much practice reading. When he was finished reading, he looked up at Caleb.

“We...we knew you’d come back. Eventually.” Caleb said thickly. His eyes were filling with tears again. “ _Gottverdammt_.” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “You can use that to write out what you were going to say. And this.” He passed him a pencil. “Oh, and...and this.” He took his coat off to reveal two leather-bound books strapped to his sides in what could only be described as holsters. He took one of them out and handed it to Molly. “For writing on.” Molly balanced the book on his knee and began to laboriously write out what he was thinking.

 _your fase is very hot and i dont kno if_ _tat_ _that is norml_ read the paper when he was done with it. He passed it to Caleb, who read it.

“It’s fine.” Caleb said. “I have been in the sun all day. That’s normal. Do not worry.” He passed the note back to Molly, who tucked it and the pencil back into his coat. “I think that other note was written by you.” Caleb commented. “The handwriting is similar.” Molly pulled both notes out and compared them. Caleb was right. He went to open the note written by him, then stopped and replaced it in the pocket. He would read it tonight, when he was on watch. He put the rest of his clothes on and stood up, stretching out all his limbs. Caleb pushed himself up from the ground with a grimace and ran his hands through his hair. He was already wearing his boots.

“If we keep going at this pace, we should reach Hupperdook by…” Caleb clicked his tongue, frowning at the trees. “The end of the week. If everything goes well.” Molly nodded, as if he knew anything about distances in this part of the world. Caleb started walking towards the road. Molly watched him for a moment. He was limping worse than he had been the previous day, and he was trying to hide it. Molly chewed his lip, then jogged after Caleb.

 

\------

 

That night, Molly settled down next to the fire and pulled out the note he had written himself. Caleb was fast asleep, his breathing quiet and easy. Before he started to read, Molly glanced over at the sleeping man. He was peaceful when he slept, with none of the worries that seemed to cling to him like burrs during the day. Molly smiled slightly and unfolded the paper. It was bigger than the other one, and was covered in jumbled writing and a few doodles.

 

_Your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to your freinds. You like to party and have a good time. Esp. good sex, good food. Somtims drugs. You beliv in beeng kind to people, and lookig aftr thos who cant look aftr thmselvs. Youd like to think your a good persun. Youve died 1s beefor, and you dont remeber what you wer like before that. You dont care that much. Look out for peeple who call you Lusian, or Nonagone._

_Rite now you are travling with a groop of peeple called the Mighty 9. They are:_

_YASHA: your best freind. Very big, very strong, very kind. Lovs flowers. You trust her with your life._  

_JESTER: Exciabol. Silly. Good to hang with. Like your little sister._

_BEAU: An asshol, but you lov her. Probly has a nice side. Did drugs with you 1s_

_FJORD: A good guy. Has a secret. Probly dosnt know what it is. Your roommait_

_NOTT: cleptoemaneak. Untrustwrothy, but a good person probly. DONT LET HER NEAR YOUR JEWLRY_

_CALEB: hansom torturd wizrd. Somthnig happnd to him in his past. Very afraid of fire. PROTECT HIM. YOU LOVE HIM._

 

Molly paused at that, and read it again.

 

_YOU LOVE HIM_

 

He mouthed the words carefully, but the sounds did not form in his throat.

 

_YOU LOVE HIM_

 

Was this what the fire in his chest was? Was this the answer to all the things he had been feeling? Was that what it meant? _Love._ There was more to the note, but Molly did not read it. He read the line about Caleb over again.

 _I love him_ . he thought, and the words took on a form in his mind. He loved Caleb Widogast. That was why he wanted him in the ways he did. He wanted to hold him, to protect him, to listen to him speak for hours, to _kiss him_.

“ _Nein….nein...Mollymauk, halt….Komm zurück….er wird dich töten….Mollymauk…_ ” Caleb mumbled in his sleep, twisting under his coat. Molly shoved the note back into his coat and crawled around the fire to sit next to Caleb. He reached out and began to stroke Caleb’s hair. He wanted to talk to him, to tell him it was all right, that he was here, but the words got stuck in his throat. He didn’t know what Caleb was saying. Caleb moaned incoherently, and Molly moved his hand to Caleb’s back.

“ _Shh_ .” he whispered. It was the only thing he could do. “ _Shhh, shhh._ ”

“Molly!” Caleb shouted abruptly, thrashed, and sat up abruptly. He was staring blankly into the darkness, shaking. Molly moved into his line of sight and crouched in front of him, cupping his face.

“ _Shhh._ ” he murmured, stroking Caleb’s hair. Caleb blinked, stared at Molly, then crumpled into his arms, trembling. Molly rubbed his back, making soothing noises.

“Mollymauk.” Caleb mumbled. “Molly….you’re here. It wasn’t...it was just...oh, _Molly_ .” Molly brushed the top of his head with a kiss. Slowly, slowly, Caleb stopped shaking, but he stayed in Molly’s arms, his head pressed into Molly’s chest. “ _Ich lieb dich,_ Molly.” he murmured. “ _Ich lieb dich._ ” He took a long, shaky breath, then sat up. There were fresh tear stains on his face. Molly reached across to brush the tears off of his face, and Caleb smiled. “ _Danke._ ” he whispered. “ _Danke, Schatz._ I can...I can take watch now.” Molly nodded, then took Caleb’s face in his hands and kissed him on the forehead. It was warmer than it had been that afternoon, and he hesitated. He could leave it for the morning. He curled up under Caleb’s coat and went to sleep.

He had one dream that he could remember. He was standing in a dark cave, surrounded by fire, and there was faint shouting coming from somewhere very far away. Caleb was standing in front of him, frozen. He watched himself walk forward and slap Caleb in the face.

“ _Back in the game._ ” he heard himself saying. “ _Time for that later. You all right?_ ”

 _“Ja_.” Caleb said vaguely, and Molly kissed him on the forehead. As he was kissing him, the dream-Caleb slowly crumbled to ash beneath his lips. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Then, there was fire everywhere, which turned to dirt, and he was drowning...drowning...drowning….

He sat up straight, Caleb’s coat falling off of him, breathing hard. Caleb had fallen asleep in a heap beside the fire, which was just coals now. The first rays of sunlight were creeping over the horizon. Molly shuddered, lay back down, wrapped the coat around him, and went back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations!!  
> Du bist schön, mein Schatz: You are beautiful, my love (or darling)  
> Nein….nein...Mollymauk, halt….Komm zurück….er wird dich töten: No....no...Mollymauk, stop....come back....he will kill you


	3. Lost In This Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was planning on posting this one chapter a day for this week, but then I got impatient, so y'all get the whole thing in one go! Congratulations! This title is from 'Scared of Lonely' by Beyoncé.

Caleb woke up the next morning with a headache and a very dry mouth. He was curled up next to the fire, Molly’s coat tangled under him. He sat up with an effort. His muscles ached, and he rubbed the back of his neck. Molly was sitting across from him, watching him.

“ _Guten Morgen,_ Mollymauk.” Caleb said, wincing. “ _Ach_ , I did not sleep well at all. Do we have any water?” Molly spread his hands and shrugged. “I have a waterskin...somewhere.” Caleb’s brain was moving very slowly. He looked around but was unable to locate the necessary object. “Those bandits took it. Fuck.” he said. He was tired, and he felt like going back to sleep. “We should...we should eat.” he said. Molly passed him a piece of jerky and he ate it slowly. He was not very hungry, which was strange. They had been walking long distances without eating very much. By all rights, he should be starving. Something was not quite right. He made himself finish the meat, then started to stand up. He could not make his legs work, and he sat back down. Molly’s eyebrows scrunched together in concern.

“I think….I think...I think….” His thoughts were not putting themselves together. “I think I am not doing very well.” he said finally. He put a hand up to his cheek and winced. His face was a lot warmer than normal. “I think I have a fever.” he added. “ _Scheiße_ _._ ” Molly crawled across the campsite to sit next to Caleb. Caleb leaned into him, tucking his head onto his shoulder. “We...we probably should not travel until I am better.” he mumbled. “But we should find a healer. _Verdammt._ ” Molly ran his fingers through Caleb’s hair, humming softly. He kissed him briefly on the side of the head and stood up. “Where are you going, Molly?” Caleb asked, looking up at him. Molly frowned, then mimed something that looked like drinking water. “I don’t...I don’t know where….how will you carry it?” Caleb asked. Molly shrugged, then went over to Caleb’s coat and rummaged through it. He pulled out the elusive waterskin, showed it to him, then walked into the woods around their campsite. Caleb pulled Molly’s coat tighter around his body and watched the place where he had gone anxiously.

It took Molly exactly thirty minutes to return, and for every minute that passed, Caleb’s anxiety increased tenfold. He was balancing on the edge of a panic attack when Molly came back out of the woods, full waterskin dangling from his hand.

“ _Ohhh_ , thank the gods.” Caleb breathed. Molly sat back down next to him and passed him the water. Caleb drank greedily, water splashing onto his shirt. His hands were shaking, and he wasn’t sure it was entirely the fever. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and smiled at Molly. “ _Danke, Schatz.”_ he said. “Now...I think I will take a nap.” He lay down on the ground and shut his eyes. Sleep crept up on him as soon as his head hit the grass.

When he woke up, it was around noon. His head was in Molly’s lap, and his coat had been tucked neatly around him. Molly’s hand was resting on his shoulder, the thumb rubbing absent circles on his bicep. Caleb shifted slightly and rolled over so he was on his back. He found himself staring up at the leather binding of his book.

“Mollymauk,” he said. His voice was very scratchy, and he coughed a bit to try and clear it. “ _Warum_ ...why are you reading that? It is not very interesting. It’s just...spells.” _And I know you are not very good at reading_ , he thought. Molly put the book down and shrugged. He made a gesture that conveyed, _There is nothing else for me to do._ Caleb sat up slowly. His head swam, and he put out a hand to try and steady himself. “Well, that did not make me feel better.” he said to the trees, and laid down again. Molly’s legs were very comfortable, and he snuggled his face into Molly’s hip. “You’re so soft...and warm….and nice to touch…” he mumbled vaguely, . Molly laughed, and Caleb turned his face up again to look at Molly’s face. “I missed you, Mollymauk.” he said. “ _Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens._ ” Molly smiled and brushed a few locks of sweaty hair out of Caleb’s face. “ _Guten nacht_.” Caleb said, and curled up against Molly again.

 

\------

 

After Caleb had drifted off to sleep again, Molly tucked the book back into the holster and considered their options. They really should find a town. He didn’t need his memories to know that Caleb required medical attention. He was not sure if he could carry Caleb, though. Caleb was very thin, but so was Molly. After thinking for a very long time, Molly put the book holster on under his coat and carefully wrapped Caleb in the tapestry. He picked the comatose wizard up and adjusted him so that he was easier to carry. Caleb tucked his face into the crook of Molly’s arm and mumbled something unintelligible.

 _I’m here, love._ Molly thought. _We’re going to get help, and you’re going to get better, and I’m going to get my memories back. It’s going to work out._ He set off up the road, his arms already beginning to grumble at him under the combined weight of Caleb and the tapestry.

It was slow going, even slower than they had been moving with Caleb’s bad leg. Molly had to stop every couple of hours to rest his arms. Caleb woke up at random intervals, and each time he was less coherent.

“ _Du bist lila._ ” he mumbled when they stopped to make camp that eventing. “ _Und du bist glänzend, Mollymauk. Ich mag….Ich mag dein Gesicht._ ” Molly gave him some water out of the gradually depleting waterskin. Caleb curled up against Molly. He was shivering. “ _Es ist kalt._ ” he whispered. Molly wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but he wrapped his arm around Caleb and rubbed his shoulder. He started humming absently until he settled on a tune. He wasn’t sure where it had come from, but he liked it.

“ _Mama_ , _Ich bin müde._ ” Caleb mumbled into his chest. “I _ch gehe jetzt...schlafen_.” Molly leaned his head on top of Caleb’s and watched the stars.

In the middle of the night, Molly was drifting off when Caleb stirred and coughed. Molly sat up abruptly, accidentally disturbing him.

“Ow.” Caleb mumbled. Molly stroked his hair, pressing an apology kiss to his head. Caleb struggled upright and blinked blearily at Molly. “Molly?” he whispered hoarsely. Molly cupped his hand against Caleb’s sweaty face. “I...I have not been...been upfront...with...with you.” Caleb continued.

“ _Shh._ ” Molly murmured. _Go back to sleep. You need your rest._ he wanted to say, but his voice betrayed him. He was not sure if he had ever had any sort of medicinal knowledge, but he was fairly certain that people with high fevers shouldn’t be this lucid.

“I...Molly, I…” Caleb stumbled over his words, and put his hand over Molly’s. “I love you, Mollymauk.” Molly stared at him, surprised at the clarity of the words. Caleb must be sleepwalking. Caleb leaned forward and kissed Molly on the lips. “ _Ich lieb dich._ ” he whispered. “ _Ich…”_ He frowned, clearly frustrated. He must have lost his train of thought. “I’m going back to sleep.” he mumbled, then curled up against Molly again. Molly kissed him on the forehead, then returned to keeping watch. Caleb was delirious, he reminded himself. He would not think anything of this. It probably meant nothing.

He was about to fall asleep again when he was jerked awake by a voice in his head. He stared around the dark campsite, trying to figure out where it was coming from, but he could not see anyone there.

“ _Hi, Molly, checking to see if you’re alive, don’t forget to go to Zadash, we love you and if you see Caleb tell him you–_ ” the voice, a high pitched, sing-song voice said. Molly frowned.

“ _What the fuck?? I’m hearing things. Shit, are fevers contagious? Hello?_ ” he thought wildly.

“ _MOLLY???? YOU’RE ALIVE?!? WHERE ARE YOU??? THIS IS JESTER!!!!!!!!!_ ” the voice practically shrieked in his head. “ _HAVE YOU SEEN CALEB?????_ ”

“ _I am alive...I don’t know where I am….you’re part of the Nein, right? I have seen Caleb, he’s sleeping right here. I don’t–”_ Molly thought slowly back.

“ _ARE YOU NEAR YOUR GRAVE? IS CALEB ALL RIGHT? THIS IS MY LAST SPELL SLOT I’LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW IF I REMEMBER!_ ” Jester yelled in his mind.

“ _We’re about a week’s walk from my grave near...umm...Hupperdook? Caleb is not fine and we definitely need a healer, he has a very–_ ” Molly replied, but the spell cut off before he could continue. He sat back, careful to not disturb Caleb, and stared at the dying embers of the fire. This was exciting. The Nein had a way of contacting them. They were going to be fine, after all. If Caleb didn’t die before the Nein found them, that was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Du bist lila. Und du bist glänzend, Mollymauk. Ich mag….Ich mag dein Gesicht: You're purple. And you're shiny, Mollymauk. I like your face  
> Es ist kalt: It's cold  
> Mama, Ich bin müde. Ich gehe jetzt...schlafen: Mama, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep now
> 
> Also, Sending is in your mind so it gets around the whole I Don't Have Words thing :3c


	4. A Dark Night Of The Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This title is from 'First' by Cold War Kids.

_He was standing on the street his childhood home was on, watching a group of children he had grown up with kick a ball around the street. He wanted to tell them to run, to tell them that something bad was coming, but he could not. He drifted forward, his feet hovering above the cobbles of the street, and the children kept playing._

_“Run!” he screamed at them, but they could not hear him. They kept kicking their ball as the flames crept down the street. He watched as the street was consumed by fire…._

_He was standing in the Leaky Tap’s bar, watching Jester and Fjord. He could see that they were Jester and Fjord, but his brain kept telling him they were Guinevere and Oskar. They were holding hands and dancing. As he watched, they started to take their clothes off. He tried to cover his eyes, but he could see through his hands. They were naked, his brain told him, but they weren’t. They were just wearing tight clothes. They started to dance, and his brain started screaming at him that this was lewd, that he had to escape, but he couldn’t. His feet were sinking into the ground. Molly waltzed up to him, completely naked, but it wasn’t Molly. It was Caduceus, and he wanted to dance with Caleb._

_“I’ll dance with you, sure.” Caleb said, but the floor was sucking him down….down….down…._

He was lying on grass beside the road, and Molly was crouching over a fire blowing on it and frowning. He wanted to tell Molly how to start a fire, but his brain wasn’t connecting to his mouth. He was so cold...but he was hot too. The fire started, and Molly rocked back on his heels, smiling.

_He was on a hill above the Glory Run Road, and the Iron Shepherds were riding down towards them. Molly was standing in the middle of the road, his swords out. Lorenzo was there and the carts were gone. Lorenzo was stabbing Molly in the chest. But no...it was not Lorenzo. It was Trent Ikithon, and he was stabbing Molly, and Molly was screaming. He was screaming so loud...but it was not Molly’s voice. It was Caleb’s parents screaming, and Ikithon was burning them, but he was burning Molly, but it was Caleb burning them. It was Caleb’s parents and Molly, and Caleb was burning them, and they were screaming._

He was sobbing raggedly into Molly’s chest, his fingers wound into Molly’s coat. Molly was humming to him, one hand combing out the tangles in his sweat-soaked hair, the other rubbing his back in slow, firm circles. He wanted to stay here forever. Molly kissed him softly on the forehead, and slowly his breathing eased and he slid back into sleep.

_Nott was tap dancing. When had she learned to tap dance? She held out her hands, and they were both tap dancing. There was a cheering crowd, but they were all the rest of the Nein repeated hundreds of times. They were dancing so fast that they started flying. Caleb wanted to go back, but Nott tapped faster...and faster...and faster…._

_He was falling, and there was fire below him. He tried to catch onto something, but there was nothing but fire. It was all fire and he was burning. Everything was fire. He screamed but there was no one to hear him._

_Molly was baking a cake. It was going to be the biggest cake in the world. He just kept baking bigger and bigger rounds and stacking them on top of each other. When he was finished, he and Caleb sat down to eat it, but Jester jumped out of it and started dancing on top of their table. The cake reformed and they tried to eat it again, but Beau came out of it and did a backflip. Yasha appeared out of the remains of the cake and gave them each a cake that she had made. The cakes tasted of flowers. Why was Yasha baking with flowers? She would never explain her secrets._

\------

 

Caleb was worse the next day. He woke up a couple of times, but only because Molly was giving him water or because he was having a nightmare. Molly did not hear from Jester at all, which made him a little nervous. He stopped less. His arms were screaming at him to stop. Caleb seemed to be getting heavier and heavier the longer they walked.

He was forced to stop around midday to eat and rest his arms. He managed to catch a rabbit and skin it with a dagger he found in an inner pocket of Caleb’s coat. The hot meat was good, and he felt a little of his energy coming back. It took him a while to light the fire, but time it took him was worth it. As he sat there, licking the juice off of his fingers and watching the flames, something shifted in his mind. He frowned. A memory was there, in the back of his brain…

…. _there was a man with a burning head in front of him, and he was throwing water over him. The man collapsed, his upper body charred beyond healing. He turned away from him towards Caleb. They were in a cave of some sort. He ran towards Caleb and slapped him in the face. Caleb started to come to._

“ _Back in the game._ ” _he said._ “ _Time for that later. You all right?_ ”

 _“Ja_ .” _Caleb said vaguely. Molly stepped forward and kissed him on the forehead…._

Molly snapped back to the present, his eyes wide. It was the same as that dream he had had, but...it was real. This had happened to him. He knew, somehow, that this was his memory. He had no idea what was happening, or why they were in a cave, or what had happened to make someone light that man on fire, but he did know that this was a good sign. He tossed dirt over the fire and stood up, stretching. They had a ways to go before they could stop for the night.

He paused again a few hours later to refill the waterskin and rest his legs. They had only been sitting for a few minutes when Caleb started thrashing and moaning. Molly crawled to his side and shook his shoulder, trying to wake him, but nothing worked. Finally, after what felt like eternity, Caleb’s eyes flew open, and he curled in on himself, sobbing. Molly pulled him into his arms, holding him. Caleb burrowed his face into Molly’s chest, clinging to his coat. Molly stroked his hair and rubbed his back. The tune he had remembered the previous day came back to him, and he began to hum it to Caleb, hoping that it would calm him down. It seemed to work, and eventually Caleb’s ragged sobs slowed and he settled down against Molly’s chest. Molly kissed him on the forehead and leaned his head on top of Caleb’s. He stayed like that for a long time until he was certain that Caleb was sleeping peacefully again.

It was approaching evening when Molly saw another person on the road for the first time. He was looking out for a decent campsite when he heard the sound of creaking cart wheels and voices behind him. He turned to look, his body tensed and ready to run into the trees if needed. It was a small party: two men on the front of a small cart, and another just barely visible above the box. They looked like merchants of some kind, but not very well off. They were human. Molly backed slowly off of the road, trying to be inconspicuous.

“Ho there!” the driver called, and Molly froze. He had known they would see him; he was a purple tiefling carrying a man wrapped in a dirty blue tapestry, but that did not lessen the fear that he felt. “What are you doing?” Molly opened his mouth, then closed it. “I _said_ , what are you doing?” the man called again. Molly slowly put Caleb down and stepped forward onto the road, his hands spread. _We are friendly. Please help us. My friend is sick._ The man jumped down from the cart, and Molly could see that he had a big sword stuck in his belt. The other men followed him. They were equally heavily armed. Molly felt the fear climbing up his throat, and he backed up, crouching down to pick Caleb up again.

“What’s a tiefling doing out here?” the man who had been up on the box with the driver asked, pulling out a very long and nasty-looking sword. “This isn’t a friendly country for your kind.” Molly wanted to run, but he knew he wouldn’t be fast enough. The men were smirking. The driver pulled out his sword and swung at Molly. Something snapped in his mind, and he felt a strange power surging through him. He felt a stab of pain in his hand and blood started to trickle down his arm. The driver swung wide, his eyes black.

“What the fuck!!??” he screamed. “Kill him!” Molly backed up, stumbled over a rock, and fell onto the grass, landing beneath Caleb. The other two men closed in on him, their swords raised. He was going to die.

 _I’m sorry, Caleb._ he thought. _I failed you._ He shut his eyes, ready for the end….

Nothing happened. Somewhere, he could hear explosions and screaming. He cracked one eye and frowned. A wall of stone was encircling him and Caleb. He sat up, staring. What had happened? There was a final explosion, and then silence. Molly set Caleb down and stood up, the dagger out. He walked up to the wall and touched it carefully. It was stone. He took his hand away, and the wall vanished. Molly jumped back. There was a tall, dark-skinned elven woman with short, tightly curled black hair standing on the other side. She was wearing a dark green knee-length tunic and black boots with silver buckles. She had one hand up.

“Hey, hey, easy now, I’m here to help.” she said, lowering her hand slowly. Molly backed away from her and went to stand above Caleb. There was no sign of the men. “I banished them.” the woman said. “They won’t be bothering anyone in this plane anymore. What’s your name?” Molly didn’t move. “Oh. You can’t speak. Is it a geas? No, no, I don’t sense magic like that on you. There’s other magic, though...are you a wizard?” Molly shook his head. “OK.” The woman frowned. “Oh, oh shit, I forgot about your friend. What happened to him?” Molly stepped in between her and Caleb. “I’m trying to _help_ , dammnit!” she exclaimed. “My name’s Marianna. I can cast Zone of Truth if that will make you believe me. Gods above, what _happened_ to you?” Molly curled his hand tighter around the dagger, but slowly moved aside. Marianna hurried forward and bent down next to Caleb. Molly stood above her as she carefully unwrapped the tapestry.

“Oh, dear.” she breathed. “Your friend is not well. He’s dying.” Molly tensed. “I can help him, don’t worry.” Marianna assured him. “I have herbs. I just need to...ah.” She had found the bloody bandage. “Let’s get him back to my home.” She moved to pick Caleb up, but Molly moved to stop her. He pointed to himself. “All right, if you say so.” Marianna said, shrugging. “Follow me.”

Marianna’s house was a tiny little shack in the middle of the woods. It had a single room with a table, a bed, and a few rude chairs. Bundles of herbs and various animal skins hung from the rafters, and a small pot bubbled on the fire. It was functional, but somehow cozy. Marianna directed Molly to put Caleb on the table. She tugged his boots off with an effort and began to unwind the bloody scarf that served as a bandage.

“What on _earth_ was he doing?” she muttered. “Oh... _oh._ ” There were several arrow wounds on Caleb’s leg, and they were all open and festering. Molly moved to sit by Caleb’s head and hold his hand as Marianna inspected the injuries. “Fuck.” she said thoughtfully. “OK. OK. I can do this. Get me that jar, there.” She pointed, and Molly ran to bring it to her. “And that...those herbs. And some clean bandages. And the pot. You _are_ resistant to fire, aren’t you?” The pot was full of boiling water. Molly kept his attention on Caleb’s still face while she worked. It could have taken hours or days, he didn’t know. Caleb didn’t move a muscle throughout the entire process, and as time passed, Molly felt his anxiety growing and making its way up into his throat.

“Fucking hell,” Marianna grumbled as she wrapped Caleb’s leg up with clean bandages. “Wizards! They don’t know how to take care of themselves. Here, put these on the laundry pile, over there.” She tossed Caleb’s bloody scarf and the shredded remains of his pants at Molly. “He’s going to be fine, unless he’s immune to my potion, which I doubt. Gods, if he’d just _fucking_ washed the damn things instead of pulling the arrows out….it’s a fucking miracle he didn’t lose the thing.” Molly accepted the articles of clothing, but stayed by Caleb’s head. “He’ll be _fine_ if you go across the room.” Marianna said. “Here, I’ll take them.” She tucked the end of the bandage under the rest of the layer and took the clothes back.

“Here, give him this.” she said, returning with a glass jar of some liquid. “It’s to get the infection out for good. And he’s wanting for a bath. I can sponge bathe him…” Molly put a protective hand on Caleb, trying to convey, _I will take care of him._ “You’ll do it?” He nodded. “OK. By the gods, we need a way to communicate.” Molly mimed writing, and Marianna shook her head. “That takes time. Do you know thieves’ cant? Sign language?” Molly frowned. He wasn’t sure if he knew either of those…

…. _he was sitting cross legged on the dirt floor of a colorful tent, watching a very tall, very pale, very muscular woman with dark braided hair that faded to white._

_“This is ‘Y’.” she said, sticking her thumb and pinky out but keeping the rest of her fingers tucked against her palm. “And this is ‘Z’.” She traced out a Z in the air with her pointer finger. “There, now you have the whole alphabet. Y is part of my name sign, see?” She made the ‘Y’ with her hand and traced a lightning bolt across her chest. He turned his head to the side, watching her, then signed out ‘M.T’. “We can use that for you, if you like.” the woman said. “It’s short. Once you have a name, we can figure something out….”_

“Hey. _Hey._ What’s-your-name, are you in there?” Molly snapped back to reality and blinked at Marianna. “You went away for a second there.” There was new knowledge in Molly’s brain. He tapped his chest and clumsily finger spelled, “M-O-L-L-Y-M-A-U-K”. “Molly...mauk?” Marianna asked. “You can sign?”

“I...can.” Molly signed slowly. “It is...F-U-Z-Z-Y.”

“Well that’s good to know.” Marianna said. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Well, I guess I never asked. All right, what’s his name?” She pointed at Caleb.

“C-A-L-E-B.” Molly spelled.

“Cahleb?” Marianna asked. “Oh! Caleb!” She tapped her chin, thoughtfully. “Well, Mollymauk, I’ll go wash your friend’s clothes and you can put him to bed. There’s soap and more water...there.” She waved a hand, and a tub full of water appeared in the corner.

“Thank you.” Molly signed. Marianna waved a dismissive hand.

“Ah, it’s nothing.” she said. “I find a dying man on the side of the road, I take him into my hovel in the woods and fix him up. Now, you’d better get him cleaned up and in bed. He’s got a lot of healing to do.”

When Caleb was clean and dressed and tucked into Marianna’s small bed, Marianna got out a pot of stew and heated it up over the fire. It was good, filling stew, and while Molly was not certain of what was in it, he was so hungry that he couldn’t have cared if it was chicken or cockroach.

“So, Mollymauk, where did you and Caleb come from?” Marianna asked. Molly put his spoon down and ran through all the signs he could remember.

“North.” he signed finally. “Going to Z-A-D-A-S-H. Meeting...friends.”

“Huh.” Marianna said. “How did he get all messed up like that?”

“Don’t know.” Molly signed. “We were….apart. For a long time.” He didn’t know how long, he realized.

“Apart?” Marianna said, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not telling me the whole story, are you?” Molly fidgeted with his tail, not quite sure how to explain. She was a wizard, though. She would understand.

“I was dead.” he signed. “I...came back.” He counted the days in his brain and held up 5 fingers. He couldn’t remember the sign for days.

“Days?” Marianna asked, and Molly nodded. “Huh. Is that why you don’t have words? Or memories?” Molly shrugged. “Huh.” Marianna repeated. “Huh.” She leaned her head on her hands. “So, I guess that means you can’t explain all those scars.”

“Blood magic.” Molly signed.

“What the fuck.” Marianna said. Molly shrugged.

“C-A-L-E-B told me.” he signed. Marianna frowned.

“What about Caleb’s scars?” she asked. Molly chewed his lip. He had noticed the neat pattern of cuts on the inside of Caleb’s forearms, but he had decided to ignore it. It was Caleb’s business to tell him about them. If he had ever known about them, he would remember them in time. He shrugged. “OK. He’s not...he doesn't...I don’t know, hurt himself?” Molly shrugged again. Marianna frowned. “I’m going to go set my wards.” she said. “There are extra blankets there.”

“Thank you.” Molly signed. Marianna waved her hand at him again and marched out of the house. Molly picked up the blankets and took them over to the bed. Caleb had shifted a little, and his hair was fanned out across the pillow. Molly perched on the edge of the bed next to him and absently ran his hand through Caleb’s hair.

“ _MOLLY! Are you there? We got distracted fighting and you know how the Gentleman is. What’s wrong with Caleb? Have you two been_ hur-hur-huring _?!”_ Jester’s voice exclaimed in his mind.

“ _I’m here. Caleb has an infected wound but it’s being taken care of. He’s going to be fine. I...we haven't been ‘_ hur-hur-huring _’.”_ Molly replied.

“ _You’d like to._ ” Jester thought back in a sing-song voice. “ _You’ve got to remember that. We’re on our way up north. Hopefully we’ll run into each other! Nott says hello and wants–_ ”

“ _Hello, Nott._ ” Molly thought, not quite sure who Nott was. “ _I don’t remember a lot, but it’s improving. I have two memories now. We won’t be moving for a while. Caleb needs to–_ ”

 _“Nott wants Caleb to know she loves him and she misses him and is he eating enough?”_ Jester finished in a rush. “ _DID YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU LOVE CALEB SO–_ ”

“ _We haven’t had a lot of food, but he will be now. I...I did remember that. I have not told him. I will when–_ ” The spell cut Molly off mid-sentence. He sat back on the bed and sighed, staring at Caleb.

“Things are improving, Caleb.” he signed. “J-E-S-T-E-R and the Nine will find us. We’re going home.”

“ _..._ Frumpkin…” Caleb mumbled, turning his head restlessly. Molly smiled a little and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. He wrapped one of the blankets around his shoulders and settled against the wall to sit up with Caleb, just in case he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies to Caduceus Clay, the most perfect of firbolgs, for putting him in the Tusk Love fever dream. Also, I don't speak ASL, much as I would like to, so any and all mistakes in describing signs are on me and I would very much appreciate it if any of y'all offered up corrections!!!  
> No German translations this time around, as dear Mr. Widogast is Not Functioning


	5. I Can't Face This Life Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from 'Save Me' by the Ultimate Bicon, Freddie Mercury and his friends (aka Queen).

Caleb woke up slowly and blinked groggily at the muted light shining in his face. He squinted up at the ceiling above him. _Ceiling._ He sat up as abruptly as he could manage, which was very slowly and stiffly. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was in a _bed._ In a _house_. He blinked, rubbing his face. Was this another fever dream? It was a nice one. He felt like shit. As he slowly processed his surroundings, he noticed that there was someone else in the bed. Mollymauk Tealeaf was curled awkwardly against the wall, one leg stretched out and his hands clutching loosely at a thick tartan blanket that clashed awfully with his skin.

“Molly…” Caleb croaked. He needed a drink of water. His throat was incredibly dry. He rubbed his face again, noticing that it was significantly less warm than it had been the last time he was lucid. Molly shifted, mumbling, and tightened his hold around his blanket. Caleb crawled across the narrow bed, flinching as he moved his injured leg, and shook the tiefling’s shoulder. “Molly, _aufwachen, bitte_.” Molly rolled over and opened his eyes. He blinked blearily up at Caleb, then sat bolt upright, his eyes wide. His face split into a huge smile and he lunged across the small space between them to pull Caleb into an embrace. Caleb melted into his arms, tucking his face into Molly’s shoulder. “Mollymauk.” he murmured. “Molly.” Molly’s hands were cold against his back, and one of them slid up to weave its way into Caleb’s hair. He still smelled like lavender oil, even after all that time underground. Molly sat up and beamed at Caleb, then started to sign something with his hands.

“Slow down, _Schatz,_ I only know the alphabet.” Caleb said. It was all Yasha and Molly had been willing to teach him when he had asked. They had wanted to keep it as their secret code. Despite the barrier, his heart had started to pound faster in excitement. They had a way to communicate that was better than miming and writing.

Molly nodded, then slowly signed, ‘C-A-L-E-B. Y-O-U-R-E A-L-I-V.’ Caleb smiled and signed the ‘E’. Molly frowned at him.

“It’s at the end of...never mind.” Caleb said, shaking his head. His headache was slowly coming back, summoned by the light from outside. “I do...I do know name signs. This is me,” He signed a ‘C’ and a ‘W’ coming apart like a book, “And this is you,” He signed what Molly had insisted was the sign for peacock, replacing the head part with an ‘M’, “And this is Yasha.” He signed a ‘Y’ in a lightning zigzag across his chest. “My brain is too fuzzy to remember more.”

“Caleb.” Molly repeated, and beamed. “Mollymauk. Yasha!” His Yasha sign was big and excited. He put both of his thumbs up and brought one down from his temple to tap twice against the other. “R-E-M-E-M-B-R. S-R-R-Y.” he fingerspelled, looking sheepish.

“Remember.” Caleb repeated, copying the sign. “You will have to teach me more.” Molly made a sign that was ‘O’ flipping into a ‘K’ and smiled. “Now...where are we? What happened?” Caleb asked. His head throbbed, and he grimaced. “I’m going to lie down.” he muttered, and settled back against the pillow.

“W-I-Z-R-D.” Molly signed slowly, keeping his hands where Caleb could see them. “H-E-E-L-D. M-A-R-I…” He threw his hands up and frowned.

“Too long?” Caleb asked. Molly nodded.

“H-E-R H-O-U-S.” he signed. “L-E-G B-A-D.”

“ _Ja,_ I did not take care of it.” Caleb murmured sleepily.

“S-L-E-E-P.” Molly signed, and turned his head to the side, making it a question. Caleb shook his head slowly, which made his head ache even more.

“I want to stay up with you.” he mumbled. Molly lay down in the thin strip of bed next to Caleb and smiled at him. Caleb rolled over to face him, wincing as he jostled his bad leg. “You saved my life, Molly.” he said. Molly twisted his lip and shook his head. “ _Nein_ , Mollymauk. Without you, I would be a rotting corpse in the middle of the woods. You got me here.” He ran his hand over Molly’s cheek. “ _Danke, Schatz._ ” He wanted to kiss him. He had never wanted anything so much before. Molly smiled and tucked a lock of Caleb’s hair behind his ear, and something in Caleb screamed, _Now!_

“Molly…” he whispered, and leaned in. Molly’s lips were soft and cold against his still-feverish face. They were everything he had imagined they would be, and so much more. Molly made a soft surprised noise, then pressed himself up against Caleb. He tangled his fingers through Molly’s hair. One of Molly’s hand was pressed against Caleb’s chest, the other curved along the edge of his face. They pulled away slowly, reluctantly, and gazed into each other’s eyes. “ _Molly_ .” Caleb murmured. “ _Ich lieb dich._ ”  Molly smiled gently and mouthed, ‘I love you’. They kissed again, and somehow it was better than the first.

“Hey, no funny business in my bed.” an unfamiliar voice said, jerking Caleb out of his Molly-induced reverie. He sat up abruptly, his head pounding in irritation, and prepared to run. A tall elven woman with dark skin, short black hair, and a very imposing axe in one hand was standing just inside the doorway, raising an eyebrow at them. Molly sat up too and put a soothing hand on Caleb’s thigh. “Ah, so he’s awake. Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Caleb. I’m Marianna, although I suppose Molly already told you that.”

“ _H...hallo_.” Caleb said slowly. Molly signed something to her with his free hand.

“I’m sure we’ll get acquainted quick.” Marianna said, setting her axe down by the fire. “There’s nothing like bringing a person back from the brink of death to start a friendship!”

“ _Ja…_ ” Caleb said.

“Does he speak Common?” Marianna asked Molly.

“I speak Common.” Caleb said indignantly. “Just not when I am very tired.” Molly patted him on the cheek.

“So, you two are an item.” Marianna said, sitting on the single chair in the entire shack. “Huh. I could have guessed that, but I don’t want to pry. Are you hungry? I have rabbit...bread...probably some eggs.”

“Bread sounds good.” Caleb said. He made to get out of bed, but Molly put a hand on his chest and pointed at his leg.

“D-O-N-T M-A-K-E I-T W-R-S.” he signed slowly. “I G-E-T U B-R-E-D.” Caleb pouted at him, and Molly kissed him on the cheek. He slipped out of the bed, paused, and crossed his arms across his chest with the hands in fists.

“That means ‘I love you’.” Marianna called. Caleb covered his face to hide his blush. When he emerged, Molly had returned to the bed, a plate stacked with bread in his hands. Caleb took a piece and began to eat. He was ravenous, and soon most of the bread was gone. “I’ve never seen anyone eat plain bread that fast.” Marianna observed, raising her eyebrow.

“I have not eaten anything in three days.” Caleb said through a mouthful of crust. Molly took one of the remaining pieces of bread and tore off the crust, eating that separately. “Why are you doing that, _Schatz_?” Caleb asked, chuckling. Molly shrugged.

“ _Schatz_.” Marianna repeated. “That’s Zemnian, isn’t it?”

“ _Ja,_ I am Zemnian.” Caleb said, raising an eyebrow at her. “I thought the accent made it clear.”

“There’s lots of accents that sound the same.” Marianna pointed out. “So, you’re a Zemnian wizard. Any connection to the Soltryce Academy?” Caleb stiffened, eyeing her. Molly leaned against him and signed something to Marianna. “I don’t care if he doesn't like talking about his past, I need to know if he’s one of their pet wizards.” she snapped. Molly signed something, his gestures sharper and angrier. “Yeah, I guess, but _still_.” Marianna said. “So, are you?”

“I am not...I don’t….I am not one of their ‘pet wizards’.” Caleb muttered.

“Not anymore?” Marianna asked.

“Not anymore, not ever.” Caleb said, raising his head to stare directly at her. “I went there, once, but I am not part of them anymore.” Molly’s hand had returned to his thigh.

“Huh.” Marianna said. “You left? How?”

“I...I…I…” Caleb stuttered. Molly signed something at her again.

“I need to know this!” she snapped. “I can’t let one of Ikithon’s little minions into my house, even if he left. Did you leave them willingly?” Molly signed at her, his hands flying through the air and nearly hitting Caleb in the face. “I trust you, but…” Marianna sighed. “He could be hiding something from you.” Another angry torrent of signs.

“I did not leave them willingly but I thank the gods every day I left.” Caleb said to the legs of her chair. “You do not...you cannot understand what it was like.” Marianna studied his face.

“OK.” she said slowly. “I have to go collect herbs. There’re books there.” She pointed to a decrepit bookshelf tucked in the corner of the hut. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” She grabbed a cloak off of a chair and strode out the door while putting it on.

“Molly…” Caleb began, but Molly held up a hand. He leaned his forehead against Caleb’s and smiled. “She is right. I have been hiding things about my past from you.” Caleb whispered. Molly shook his head. “No, I have been.” Caleb said. “I need...I need to…” Molly hopped off of the bed and went to grab a torn piece of paper and a bit of pencil. He began to write furiously. When he was done, he sat back on the bed with his legs tucked underneath him and gave the paper to him. In clumsy scrawl, it read:

 

_I dont need to kno about it now if u dont want to tell me now. Its your past and i know whatevr it is i kno ill still lov you evn if i dont hav my memries i still have that. It wont change anything_

 

Caleb crumpled the edge of the paper, chewing his lip.

“This is...it is...you will not…. _verdamnt_ , Mollymauk, my brain is all mixed up.” he said. Molly took his hands and leaned his forehead against Caleb’s again. Caleb freed one of his hands to cup Molly’s face. He ran his thumb down the curve of Molly’s jaw. He couldn’t believe Molly was _here_ , in front of him, alive. He was certain that he was going to wake up eventually and discover that this was all a fevered dream and he was still lying under the tree by Molly’s grave, alone. He did not deserve this. He was a garbage person. He had done things that Molly could never fathom. If Molly knew, he would not love him. People like him did not get things like this…

Molly kissed him, gently, pulling him out of his spiral. There was no way this was a dream. It would not be this nice, this warm, this soft. He wound his fingers through Molly’s hair, clinging to him.

“ _Ich lieb dich._ ” Caleb murmured, pulling just far enough away to get the words out. “Mollymauk... .” Molly kissed him on the nose, and he smiled. “I want to see what books she has. Can you…?” Molly nodded and padded across the room to grab a stack of leather-bound books. He returned with them and placed them in Caleb’s lap. The first was a musty spellbook, which Caleb put to the side. The next book, however…. “My mother used to read this to me.” Caleb said excitedly. “It’s a collection of Zemnian fairy stories. We had an ancient copy...oh, look at this.” He ran his hand over the embossing. His headache was nothing but an annoyance lurking in the back of his mind now. “Some of these are very sad, but I remember most of them are very lovely. I can read them to you, if you like…” Molly nodded and tucked his head into Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb flipped to the first page and read, “ _Der_ , sorry, ‘The Dwarf and His Gold’...”

 

\-------

 

Halfway through a story about a greedy rich man and the tiefling who gave him his due, Caleb fell asleep. Molly carefully moved his head out from under Caleb’s and tucked him back into bed. Caleb grumbled to himself and rolled over, curling his hand around the pillow. He was looking significantly better. Molly moved the books to the table and went to fry himself some eggs. Marianna had chickens somewhere near her house, but either they were invisible or hidden by a ward of some sort, because he had not seen them. The eggs tasted wonderful after days of just jerky and whatever edible fruit they could find on the sides of the road.

When he was finished, he stretched and picked up one of the books. It was a spellbook like the one Caleb had, just with far fewer absurd doodles in the margins. Marianna’s handwriting was a lot more cramped and spidery than Caleb’s neat calligraphy, and it was difficult for him to parse what they were saying. He gave up and picked up the paper he had used to write to Caleb and started drawing whatever came into his mind. He started with silly doodles of Caleb doing magic and reading books. His hand took on a mind of its own, and he started drawing things he didn’t recognize: a striped cat sitting on Caleb’s head, a tiny bird person with a dagger, a tiefling woman grinning mischievously at an uncomfortable-looking half-orc man.

 _These are things I should know._ he thought, examining the doodle of a grumpy-looking monk woman flipping someone off. _These are people I know, but I can’t remember who they are._ He added another Caleb making a goofy face, then leaned his head on his hand and fidgeted with the moon charm hanging from his horn. He stood up and picked up the tapestry, which had been tossed into a corner of the room. He picked it up and shook out the dirt. It was a lovely work, and he hoped he could get the dirt out….

…. _he was leaning against the doorway of the room of an sumptuous inn, wearing nothing but the tapestry. A platter of various fruits was in one of his hands, and he was posing. A chubby blue tiefling woman was sprawled across one of the beds eating a large donut. A human woman with golden brown skin and a dark brown undercut was sitting on the other bed polishing a long bo staff. Next to her sat a green half-orc man with dark cropped hair and a few scars on his face. The very large pale woman he had seen in his last memory, Yasha, was sitting on the floor eating a donut._

_“I am your god! Long may I reign; eat of my fruits.” he said, bowing low. His tapestry slipped dangerously, and the human woman shouted in distress._

_“I just ordered another fruit platter...” she said when he had recovered himself._

_“It’s good. I got through a lot of this.” Molly said, coming into the room and perching on the bed next to her. She took a slice of cantaloupe and ate it._

_“...But long may he reign. Huzzah.” she finished._

_“Huzzah!” the tiefling cheered…_

He snapped back to the present as the tapestry slipped from his slack fingers. The tiefling’s voice was familiar. _Jester_. She was the person who had been messaging him. He held her face in his mind: round, blue, freckles, silver earrings. Jester and Yasha. He wondered if the monk woman was Nott.

 _You have a list, you idiot._ He ran to where his jacket was hanging and pulled the paper out. Yasha was his best friend. Of course! The memory where she was teaching him how to sign…

 _We were in the circus._ his brain provided. _She helped you last time you died._ Last time he died? What else was he forgetting? Jester. She was like his little sister, according to the paper. He couldn’t figure out if the woman with the staff was Nott or Beau, but the half-orc man was definitely Fjord. His roommate.

 _He spits up salt water and eats swords._ his brain told him. _He’s got a dark secret but you don’t know what it is._ He was remembering things! He was remembering his friends…

...“ _Nott dear, why don’t you tell the nice man the truth_ ?” _The words dripped like honey from his tongue, wrapping their way around the small goblin girl crouching in front of him. They were in a small inn, and there was a small pile of glittering rings, buttons, and a shiny flask in the center of the room. Fjord was standing, arms folded, looming above Nott._

 _“_ _I was looking for your letter to the Soltryce Academy.” Nott burst. Fjord raised an eyebrow._

_“My letter? But, Nott, why?” he asked. Nott smiled shiftily._

_“I want it.” she whispered._

_“What for?” Molly asked. Nott looked terrified, and he held out his hands in a gesture of peace. “It’s fine, no one’s in trouble.”_

_“I want to give it to Caleb.” Nott burst…._

Molly’s knees hit the dirt floor and he jerked out of his memories to catch himself. He stared down at his chipped nails, his mind reeling.

“ _Any connection to the_ _Soltryce_ _Academy?_ ” Marianna had asked. Why did Fjord want to go there? What was the Soltryce Academy? He had guessed that it was a school for wizards. Was Fjord a wizard? _Warlock_ , his brain provided. Warlock. Could warlocks learn thing? “ _I did not leave them willingly but I thank the gods every day I left.”_ What had happened to Caleb there? The image of Caleb’s blank face staring at the burning priest in the cave came up into his mind, and he looked over at the sleeping wizard. He stood up and brushed his pants off, then walked over to the table and picked up the paper with the note to himself. He ran his finger down it to land on Caleb’s name

 

_Somthnig happnd to him in his past. Very afraid of fire._

  
_Fire._ he mouthed to himself. Gods, he wanted his voice back. Signing was all well and good, but Caleb couldn’t understand most of what he said with his hands. All these memories coming back was probably a good sign. Maybe his voice would come soon, too. He returned to the table and started doodling a picture of Yasha and her big sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the gayer for Caleb Molly gets, the worse his spelling, finger or otherwise, gets. Apologies to Fjord for condensing his character to "he spits up salt water and eats swords".  
> Translations:  
> Aufwachen, bitte: Wake up, please


	6. Past The Beating of My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title is from 'It All Fades Away' from "The Bridges of Madison County", which coincidentally I am listening to as I post this.

Caleb spent the first few days sleeping a lot and getting his strength back. His leg was healed enough to hobble around on after a day, and he made good use of it. Since there was nothing else to do, Caleb spent most of his waking hours learning as much sign language as he could. They managed this through a complex system of Molly writing things down or fingerspelling them out.

“I like bees.” Caleb signed carefully one morning. He and Molly were sitting on the bed across from each other, Caleb’s bad leg leaning against Molly’s thigh and his other leg entwined with Molly’s leg.

“J-A, I like bees as well.” Molly signed, grinning.

“What the actual fuck are you two talking about?” Marianna asked from the table. She was transcribing a spell from a scroll she had purchased from a passing traveling salesman. “Damn, I think I bought another levitation spell.”

“You should learn to not believe the traveling spell salesmen.” Caleb said. “I’m learning words, and today Molly is teaching me animals.” Molly crossed his wrists and waggled his fingers at Caleb.

“S-P-I-D-E-R.” he spelled.

“Frumpkin was a spider.” Caleb signed. They had spent the entirety of the first lesson coming up with name signs for the Nein and all associated parties.

“I bet he hated that.” Molly replied.

“He was very...S-T-U-R-D-Y.” Caleb spelled out. Molly laughed.

“Where is Frumpkin?” he asked, his head turning in a questioning manner. Caleb grew quiet.

“The bandits killed him.” he said out loud, his hands twisting the edge of his borrowed tunic. “First chance I get, I am going to get the components for getting him back. I don’t have enough incense.” Molly took his hand and squeezed it.

“Please tell me you’re talking about some sort of animal companion and not a person.” Marianna called.

“Frumpkin is my cat.” Caleb said. “Sometimes he is a spider, or a bird, or an octopus. I will tell you about that another time.” he said to Molly, who was gaping incredulously at him. Molly shook his head and smiled.

“Well,” Marianna said, putting down her pen and shoving the chair back. “I am going berry picking. Molly, feed the chickens, would you?”

“Yes ma'am.” Molly signed, adding a salute.

“Don't burn the house down.” she said, waving casually and striding out of the house.

“She makes me miss Beau.” Caleb sighed. “I never thought I would miss her, but times change.”

“Beau is…” Molly tapped his shoulder twice, a sign that Caleb didn’t recognize, then fingerspelled, “M-O-N-K.”

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb said. “She’s an asshole, but she’s a good egg.” He smiled a bit, remembering the last time he had used that phrase to describe Beau.

“Chickens make eggs.” Molly signed.

“J-A, they do.” Caleb signed. “And...and... _fuck_.”

“Geese.” Molly signed. “Ducks. Snakes.”

“I do not like that snakes lay eggs.” Caleb signed. “They are too long.”

“I like snakes.” Molly said. “They’re….S-E-N-S-U-A-L.” Caleb covered his face, and Molly cackled.

“You are the worst.” Caleb said into his hands. Molly leaned over to kiss him on the top of the head, then tugged on his sleeve. Caleb dropped his hands and eyed Molly suspiciously.

“Will you braid my hair?” Molly signed, smiling sweetly. Caleb relaxed and smiled back.

“Of course, _liebling._ ” he said. Molly slid off of the bed and settled down with his legs tucked neatly under him. Caleb slid forward and began to weave Molly’s hair into a complicated braid. “I think we are almost ready to get on the road to Zadash.” he commented.

“H-U-Z-A.” Molly signed, wiggling his fingers in a celebratory manner. He wound his tail around Caleb’s ankle and signed, “B-A-T-H.”

“ _Ja,_ I have been wanting for a real bath for a long time now.” Caleb said. “At that nice bathhouse that wasn’t too expensive, but….” He trailed off. Molly wouldn't remember the bathhouse. He had made a neat list of all the things he did remember. It was getting longer every day, but it was still shorter than either of them would have liked. Molly tapped his horn against Caleb’s leg in an affectionate manner, as if to say, _It’s OK._ “Don’t do that, _Schatz_ , I need your head still.” Caleb said, doing his best to keep the braid together.

“S-H-A-T-S.” Molly fingerspelled.

“Close. S-C-H-A-T-Z.” Caleb corrected. Molly spelled it out. “It means...it means darling. Sweetheart.”

“S-C-H-A-T-Z.” Molly repeated, and patted Caleb’s leg with the end of his tail. “I think…” he signed, then paused, his hand dropping to his lap.

“Molly?” Caleb asked. “ _Geht es dir gut?_ ” Molly didn’t move. He was having a new memory return. Caleb finished the braid and tied it off with his silver thread. He then limped across the room to Marianna’s large collection of ribbons and selected a purple one, which he tied the braid with to replace his thread. Molly was still in the memory, his eyes blank and staring. Caleb sat down next to him to wait. Finally, Molly unfroze with a huge gasp and nearly toppled forward. Caleb caught him, and Molly leaned into him.

“Large bug.” he signed, his hands shaking just a bit. “Large _bugs_. What the fuck?” Caleb rubbed his shoulder.

“ _Ja_ , those were frightening. And we lost our horses.” he said.

“L-O-O.” Molly fingerspelled, grinning. He patted his hair, then leaned over to kiss Caleb on the cheek. “It feels nice. Thank you.”

“Of course, _Schatz._ Any time.” Caleb said.

“Now I’ll braid your hair.” Molly signed. “Hold on.” He bounced to his feet and ran out of the hut. When he returned, he had a bundle of small wildflowers in his hands. He perched on his knees next to Caleb and began to braid them into his hair.

 

\------

 

Marianna declared Caleb to be fit for travel four days after they had arrived at her hut. Molly was glad; he wanted to get to Zadash and meet the rest of the Nein and finally start working on getting the rest of his memories back. He had covered the paper they were keeping track on with things he remembered, but it was still too few, and too patchy. He remembered a lot of things from the middle of his time with the Nein, and random things from his time at the circus, but nothing connected. A small part of him wanted to know how he had died, but he hoped that would be the last thing he remembered.

The day they left was sunny, and a few puffy clouds floated in the blue sky. Marianna gave them a haversack full of food, clothes, and random things she thought they could use. She had given Caleb her fairy tale book, which he had been reading as they walked. Molly had taken Caleb’s hand, partly because he liked the feeling of Caleb’s hand in his, but mostly because otherwise Caleb would walk into a ditch. They camped under a clear, star-filled sky, and Caleb taught Molly the names of the constellations. It was too dark for conversation, but Molly didn’t mind just listening to Caleb talking to him about the sky.

It rained the next day, but Molly did not mind as much as he would have. They were wet, but they were on their way. Caleb was healthy, and Molly had woken up with a surprising amount of knowledge about Kiri. There was mud splattered over his boots, and his hair was plastered to his face, and he was praying that his jewelry wasn’t tarnishing, but he was _happy_.

“We are near Hupperdook.” Caleb observed. “We can go visit Kiri and her family, and maybe Rissa.”

“R-I-S-A?” Molly signed. He couldn’t remember who that was.

“She led us around Hupperdook when we were there.” Caleb said. “Her dad is a tinker. He builds weapons.” His hand drifted to his stomach, and he winced.

“Did he stab you?” Molly signed, concerned.

“No...he built a...a clockwork warden.” Caleb said. “It went rouge, and we defeated it. I got impaled with…”

... _Caleb was pressed up against a wall. Caleb was stuck to the wall. Caleb was pinned to the wall with a giant iron spear. Caleb was…._

“....Mollymauk? Molly, _Schatz_ , are you….”

... _Beau was lying on the ground bleeding from multiple wounds, blood smeared on her face, blood everywhere…_

…. _there was a strange contraption, a clockwork ball made of interlocking bits of metal crawling on spidery legs towards him, sharp knives out and pointed at him…_

...he was kneeling on the road, his fingers digging into the mud, and Caleb’s arm was around him.

“ _Ich bin da, Liebling. Du bist sicher. Ich bin da.”_ Caleb was murmuring, his hand rubbing Molly’s back in firm circles. “ _Ich bin da._ ” Molly leaned into him, tucking his face into Caleb’s chest. “Are you...what were you….” Molly sat up and rubbed his face.

“C-L-O-K-W-R-K W-A-R-D-N.” he signed. “I’m fine. I just...it started…” He sucked in a long breath. “I remembered you getting stabbed first. And then Beau unconscious. But I remember the rest, too.”

“Oh. OK. We can...let’s...let’s take a break.” Caleb said.

“I’m hungry, and it’s almost lunch time.” Molly signed. They stood up and walked a ways off of the road to sit and eat some of the food Marianna had packed for them. Caleb was quiet, which was not unusual, but it was a strange kind of quiet. He was thinking about something, Molly could tell, but it was not something he wanted to be thinking about. When Molly finished his meal, he went to lean against Caleb.

“ _Hallo_ , Molly.” Caleb said through a mouthful of bread.

“Are you OK?” Molly signed. When he had finished the phrase, he slipped his hand into Caleb’s free hand.

“ _Ja,_ just...thinking.” Caleb said. “About you. And your memories. And…”

“The bad ones.” Molly signed.

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb said. “The very bad ones.”

“They are important to me, too.” Molly signed. “To me being me.” Caleb ran his thumb over the back of Molly’s hand.

“I know.” he said. “But...what if something triggers one in the middle of a battle? I can...you were different, this time. I’ve pulled you out of memories before. This one...I was calling your name but you didn’t respond. You just...you….it was like my...my fits. When I light someone on fire.”

“You’ll just have to look out for me.” Molly signed, smiling at him. Caleb smiled faintly, and Molly leaned over to kiss him. “Let’s go.” he signed. They gathered up their things and continued on their way.

 

\------

 

The next day was cloudy, but there was no rain. They found a stream to wash their muddy clothes in and bathe as much as was possible with no soap. Caleb lit a fire to dry their clothes off as best he could with the soaked wood that populated the forest, and they spent the afternoon lounging around beside the water. Molly took his tarot cards out of his coat and tried to build a card tower on top of the fairy tale book while Caleb took a nap. The sun came out late in the afternoon.

“We should probably walk some more.” Caleb said once he had woken up. “We’ll be at Hupperdook by tomorrow. First, I’m going to go see if I can find some berries.” Molly nodded and went to fold up the clothes. As he was rolling up his pants and tucking them into the pack, he heard a crunch from the woods. He turned, clutching the pants to his chest. A group of people wearing light armor had appeared, talking quietly amongst themselves. _Shit_. Molly remembered the last time they had encountered strangers on the road and shrunk back. Caleb would be back soon. It wouldn’t take a lot of time to find berries...would it?  
“Oh, hello there!” the leader of the group, a very tall, very muscular dark skinned human woman with long braids pinned up in two buns said. “Sorry to barge into your campsite.” Molly eyed her warily. “We’re just getting some water, no need to worry about us.”

“I don’t think he talks.” a chubby halfling man with very curly brown hair and lightly tanned skin said, frowning at Molly. “Do you?” Molly shook his head, slowly.

“Is there someone else here with you?” the woman asked. Molly nodded and pointed into the woods. “OK! We’ll just get water and go.” She stepped carefully around the remains of the fire towards the stream. Molly watched her, then froze. There was a large polearm strapped to her back with a long, curved blade. It looked familiar. Something started to tug at his mind. He had seen one of those before…

…. _there were three carts, and sitting beside the driver was a tall muscular man. His bald head gleamed in the sunlight, and next to him was one of the same weapons. Glaive…._

“Hey, man, you there?” a skinny brown-skinned elf woman with a nose piercing asked, prodding him in the chest. He stared at her. The memories were flooding into his mind, threatening to…

…. _he was standing beside the hills on the Glory Run Road, his swords in his hands. There were three carts in front of him, all with piles of goods inside of them. He could see Caleb standing on the hill opposite, his hands moving in a casting motion. Beau was fighting a huge half-orc woman, and as Molly watched she hit the woman with one final blow and knocked her to the ground._

_“Who’s going to handle Lorenzo? Fuck!” Beau yelled, then turned and leapt up onto one of the horses. Molly followed her, clambering over the cart and beginning to lay into Lorenzo with his swords. Blood splattered, and he grinned in triumph…._

_….Lorenzo lunged at him. He reacted, instinctively, and blood started to trickle down his hand. He was falling back…Lorenzo was raising the glaive...the glaive was in his chest. He choked, spit blood into his face….blood dripping down his chin, blood soaking into his shirt, his skin, so much blood. He was dying. He could hear screaming. He was screaming…._

 

Caleb was tucking wild strawberries into his pocket and humming absently when he heard a commotion from over the hill. He paused, listening, then froze. Someone was shouting. Someone was _screaming. Molly was screaming._ His legs started moving before his brain had fully understood what what happening, and he sprinted up the hill. His bad leg started throbbing angrily, but he kept pushing. He crested the hill and paused to asses the situation. There was a group of fighters talking animatedly. One of them was crouching next to Molly, who was on the ground. Caleb hurtled down the hill towards them.

“ _Get away from him!_ ” he shouting in Zemnian. The one next to Molly, a brown-skinned elf woman wearing leather armor and a lot of metal, stood up abruptly. Caleb dropped to his knees and bent over Molly. He had stopped screaming, but he was curled into a ball and was moaning nonsense syllables. “Molly, Molly _Schatz,_ _Ich bin da, Ich bin da,_ Molly.” Caleb murmured, rubbing his back with shaking hands. “Shhh, shhh, _liebling_.” Molly curled up tighter and whimpered.

“He was staring at Abiodun, then he just fell over and started screaming.” a muscular dwarf woman with a neatly braided black beard and deep brown skin said in heavily accented Zemnian. Caleb stared up at her, and she backed up a step. “That’s Abiodun.” she said, pointed an accusing finger at a very tall human woman with her hair tied up in two braids. Caleb eyed her. His eyes passed across her armor over her face, and to the glaive strapped across her back. His hand tightened on Molly’s shoulder. _Fuck_.

“He is...it is not...do not worry.” he said in halting, trembling Common. “You can go now. I will take care of him.” Abiodun looked around at the others.

“C’mon, let’s get water and go.” she said. The others went to the stream, but Abiodun walked over and squatted next to Caleb. “I’m sorry.” she said quietly in Zemnian. “Did I...do I…”

“We have had bad experiences with glaives.” Caleb said carefully in the same language. “It brings back...memories.” Molly groaned again, and Caleb rubbed his shoulder. “ _Shh, Schatz, Du bist sicher._ ”

“OK.” Abidun said. “I...OK. We’ll go now.” The rest of her party had returned, and she stood up. “Take care.” They marched away in a clump, talking to each other quietly. Caleb watched them until they were out of sight, then turned back to Molly. The tiefling was quiet, the only sound his shaky breathing.

“Molly…” Caleb murmured. “ _Schatz,_ _aufwachen._ ” Molly stirred, sat up abruptly, and stared blankly at Caleb.  He was shaking. “Molly, it’s me. It’s just me.” Caleb said, fear curling around his chest. He leaned over to take Molly’s hands. Molly jerked, blinked, and let out a long breath.

“ _Caleb._ ” The voice was hoarse, and quiet, and the syllables were not quite right, but it was _Molly’s_ voice.

“Oh, _Molly_.” Caleb whispered, and pulled him into a tight embrace. Molly curled up against his chest, his whole body trembling. Caleb stroked Molly’s hair, his other hand rubbing firm circles on his back.

“I have...words.” Molly mumbled into his shirt. “Caleb, I have words.”

“I know, _Schatz_ , I know.” Caleb said, kissing him on the side of the head. Molly shifted a bit and let out a shaky breath.

“He...I... _stabbed._ ” he whispered.

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb murmured, leaning his head against Molly’s. “But he is gone now. He cannot hurt you anymore.” Molly sat up and twisted his tail in one of his hands.

“Who killed him?” he signed, his eyes on Caleb’s face.

“We all helped...Keg and Beau and Caduceus and Shakäste and Nott and I.” Caleb said softly. “But….I….I struck the final blow. I….he...I burned him.” Molly nodded quietly, then leaned his head against Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb ran his fingers through Molly’s hair. “We should stay here tonight.” he said. “I don’t think you are in a state to do much of anything.”

“No.” Molly said. “This is good.” He wound his fingers through Caleb’s free hand. “Caleb?”

“Hmm?” Caleb asked.

“I love you.” Molly whispered. “I love you, Caleb Widogast.” He sat up and leaned over to kiss Caleb on the lips, his other hand tangling in Caleb’s hair.

“I love you too, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” Caleb whispered when they seperated, and leaned in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was writing Molly's flashbacks, I made good use of the transcript on tumblr, and I found some good quotes. My favorites were:  
> SAM: My mustache is falling off, so I better hold it on with another mustache.  
> TALIESIN: No, stop.  
> MATT: Fuck you, Sam!
> 
> TALIESIN: Oh wait, no! Everybody poops unless they’re an android, because then they must be destroyed.
> 
> Translations:  
> Ich bin da, Liebling. Du bist sicher. Ich bin da: I'm here, darling. You're safe. I'm here.


	7. Crystal Clear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *yeets out the entire story onto AO3 in 15 minutes* here ya go! The last chapter! No suspense in this baby, only pure unadulterated Story.  
> This chapter title is from 'Stutter' by Marianas Trench, which is a BOP

They reached Hupperdook early the next afternoon. The towers of the factories and the sharp metal of the machinery glinted in the sunlight.

“We’re going to see Kiri.” Molly sang, swinging his and Caleb’s entwined hands back and forth and bouncing along with each step. He was still having trouble with longer words and sentences, but he had been talking as nonstop as he could since they had woken up that morning. “And we can go...go…” He made a frustrated noise and dropped Caleb’s hand to sign, “dancing.”

“ _Ja._ And I would like to get Yasha some flowers and Beau some firecrackers.” Caleb said. They had discovered a sack of copper and silver coins tucked into a small pocket in the pack. It wasn’t enough for an inn, but it was enough for them to replenish their food supplies if they needed to before they reached Zadash and to buy a few incidentals along the way.

“I will get Yasha flowers.” Molly said slowly, then signed, “I remember what her favorites are.” He slipped his hand back into Caleb's. They made their way through the iron gates of the city and followed the winding street up towards the Idle Works Shelf. Caleb's leg started to complain as they walked up the hill, but he stoutly ignored it. He led the way through the winding streets and to the Schuster's butcher shop. It was much different from when they had last visited. There was light glowing in the windows, illuminating the different cuts of meat available. They could see a few people at the counter. They walked around and came up to the door of the house that backed into the shop. Caleb knocked on the door. There were the sounds of a scuffle and arguing, then the door opened.

“Oh. Hello.” Austin, a teenaged gnome boy with curly brown hair, said. “Are you here to see Kiri? Where are the rest of you? Why has it take so long?”

“We were just passing through.” Caleb said. “We are here to see Kiri…”

“Welcome to the Mighty Nein!!” a familiar voice crowed, and Kiri herself appeared in the doorway. She chirped excitedly and ran to hug Caleb.

“ _Hallo,_ Kiri.” Caleb said, dropping Molly's hand to hug her back. “It has been a long time.”

“Long time.” Kiri echoed, then peered around him. “Jester.” she said in Fjord's drawl, cocking her head. “Mighty Nein!”

“We were separated.” Caleb said. “I will make sure we come back to visit when we have found them.”

“Come inside!” Kiri said in an unfamiliar woman's voice, and marched into the house. Caleb and Molly followed her. There was a single front room, with a door leading into a kitchen and a set of stairs leading up into the top floor. Layla, the youngest of the Schuster children, was playing on the floor with a collection of blocks.

“Where are the rest of your siblings?” Caleb asked Kiri.

“Butcher shop.” Kiri informed him in a man's voice. “Family business.” she added in the same woman's voice she had used earlier. She flopped down onto a wooden chair at the table. Caleb and Molly joined her.

“How are you?” Molly asked, drawing out each word to make sure it was exactly right. Kiri tilted her head and regarded him with curiosity.

“How are you?” she echoed, then said, in a whispered woman's voice, “The purple one is dead.” Caleb and Molly stared at her.

“Where did you hear that?” Caleb asked. Kiri chirped, an innocent expression on her face.

“Mama.” she said in a child's voice. “They killed the Iron Shepherds.” she added in her mother's voice. “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”

“She listens to everything.” Austin reported, coming over to sit with them. “It's useful. We learn things.”

“Learn things.” Kiri said happily. “Yes, I'm very sweet.”

“No one suspects a cute little bird girl.” Molly signed. Kiri hummed, watching his hands curiously.

“ _Ja,_ especially a little bird girl who doesn't seem to talk.” Caleb said, nodding.

“Doesn't seem to talk.” Kiri repeated. “He's horny for Molly's everything.” she added in Jester's voice. Caleb blushed, and Austin and Molly cackled.

“We were a terri...terrible in-flu-ence.” Molly said very slowly, carefully sounding out the syllables. Kiri chirped, smiling.

“Terrible in-flu-ence.” she said, puffing out her feathers. “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!”

“Why would Jester talk about something like _that_ around you, Kiri?” Caleb asked, shaking his head.

“Aww, she is sleeping!” Kiri answered in Jester's voice. Molly burst into hysterical laughter and nearly fell out of his chair.

“So you heard Jester discussing my love life. _Wunderbar_.” Caleb said, sighing.

“Wrapped around his weenie.” Kiri said seriously. Molly and Austin dissolved into fresh hysterics. Caleb shook his head.

“I can assume you are doing well and are happy.” he said.

“ _Wunderbar_ .” Kiri said. “Eh, she's a good egg.” And then, in Jester's voice: “They just need to _hur hur hur._ ” Caleb covered his face.

“I am surrounded by weirdos.” he said. Kiri echoed Molly and Austin's laughter with pride. “I will have you know, we are in a committed relationship now and I will not have you parroting Jester’s….Jester's _ideas_.”

“Molly and Caleb need to stop pining and just _bang_.” Kiri said in Beau's voice, then, in Fjord's voice, commented, “They'll get to it in their own time.”

“She can keep going all day.” Austin said, wiping tears from his eyes. “It's fun when she does it in front of adults. They don't think she knows what she's saying.”

“Knows what she's saying.” Kiri said, nodding, then chirped contentedly. “Go fuck yourself!”

When evening fell, Molly dragged Caleb out into the streets to buy as many fireworks and flowers as they could afford. It was not a lot, but their haversack felt heavy with the new weight. After a quick trip to the Schuster's, where they were staying for the night, to drop off the full pack, they returned to the crowded streets. Caleb clung tightly to Molly's hand. He was never one for crowds, especially loud, enthusiastically partying crowds. They watched the fireworks that went off at random intervals for a time, then Molly decided it was time to _dance._ It was not hard to find a place to do so. The first open area they came across was full of the sounds of a small band playing a jig and the boots of the gnomes pounding into the stone. Molly grabbed Caleb's hand and pulled him into the crowd.

“I don't know how this dance goes.” Caleb yelled over the music. Molly shrugged, grinned, and twirled him around. A few gnomes near them cheered. They found a rhythm eventually, and soon a circle had formed of gnomes watching them dance and encouraging them. The musicians shifted to a waltz, making it Caleb's turn to take the lead. “The last time I waltzed was with Jester, and I was very, _very_ drunk.” he remembered as they stepped around the circle.

“I know. I was there.” Molly said. “I would have liked to dance with you while very drunk, but Nott needed me.” It was one of the longest sentences he had managed to say, and when he had finished he beamed at Caleb.

“I would have danced with you if you'd asked.” Caleb said, leaning his head against Molly's. Molly kissed him, and a few of the gnomes applauded. There was something hypnotically magical about dancing in the street of Hupperdook. Every so often, a barrage of firecrackers would explode in the air, lighting up the dance floor in bright colors and occasionally raining sparks down on their heads. It was 11:45 PM precisely when the leader of the band announced that they were playing the last song of the night. Caleb was about ready to return to the Schuster's, but Molly made pleading eyes at him and he consented to dance for this last song. Most of the gnomes had disappeared off to their homes or the still-open, still-lively bars, so they practically had the square to themselves. The band picked up a slow, gentle melody, and Molly slid his arms around Caleb's waist.

“This is good.” he whispered, his lips barely brushing Caleb's.

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb murmured sleepily. “I could dance with you forever….once I sleep.” Molly laughed and kissed him.

“Me too.” he said. They leaned their foreheads together, mumbling sweet nothings until the tune finally came to a close. There was scattered applause. “Let's go sleep.” Molly said, yawning. Caleb tucked his elbow through Molly's and they wandered back through the city to the Schuster's and the embrace of the nest of blankets on the floor of the front room.

 

\------

 

There were more people on the road past Hupperdook, which made Caleb very anxious, but none of the groups they passed paid any attention to them. They were all too focused on their own destinations. The weather remained nice and sunny, and they made good time down the road.

“Only a couple more weeks, and we’ll be there.” Molly said one night as they lay by the dying fire, staring at the clear sky. “And then... _bath_.”

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb sighed, tucking his head into the curve of Molly’s shoulder. “And our friends.” He missed the rest of the Nein more than he had realized he would. Nott was a given–of course he missed his best friend–but he missed Jester and Beau, and Fjord, and Caduceus. Molly hadn’t met Caduceus yet. “And you get to meet Caduceus.” he said out loud. “I think you will like him.”

“I think I’ll like him, too.” Molly said. He laced his fingers through Caleb’s. “He sounds like fun.” He paused, clicking his tongue quietly. “Not as fun as me, though.” Caleb laughed softly, and Molly turned to kiss him on the top of the head. “No one’s as fun as me, after all.” he murmured into Caleb’s hair.

“Jester is pretty fun.” Caleb said.

“Jester is pretty fun.” Molly admitted. “ _Gods,_ I’ve missed her. All of them. Especially Yasha.” He sighed and rested his head on top of Caleb’s.

“We’ll see them soon.” Caleb said, squeezing his hand.

“I hope so.” Molly murmured. He sat up. “I can take first watch.” Caleb mumbled his assent and curled up with his head in Molly’s lap. He fell asleep to Molly humming vaguely and stroking his hair.

It was windy the next day, but still clear. The road was empty except for the occasional rabbit that hopped across the path. Molly remembered a few bawdy folk songs and sang through them over and over again until Caleb grew tired of them, which did not take long. When he had exhausted that, Caleb taught him a few Zemnian songs that his father had enjoyed.

“What was the one that you were singing when I found you?” Molly asked after successfully butchering his way through the chorus of Caleb’s favorite folk song. Caleb frowned, trying to remember what it had been.

“Oh! Oh, that was...it is not a happy song.” he said. “Not good for walking.”

“What does it mean?” Molly asked. Caleb chewed his lip for a moment, then sang quietly,

“My darling has gone wandering,

but I do not know why I am so sad;

perhaps he is dead and lies resting well,

that's why I spend my time being so sad.

 

When I wanted to go to the church with my darling,

many lying, lying tongues were around the door;

one said this, the other said that,

which brings tears to my eyes pretty often.

 

Thistles and thorns, they prick so badly,

but lying tongues prick even much worse.

No fire on earth burns as hot

as secret love that no one knows about.

 

Ah, dearest darling, I just ask you for one thing:

you should be at my burial,

at my burial in the cool grave,

because I loved you so truly.”

 

When he had finished, he glanced over at Molly. The tiefling was watching him with a strange expression in his eyes.

“I told you, it is very sad.” Caleb said quietly. “It was...it was the only song I thought was...I…” He trailed off, not sure how to explain himself. Molly stopped walking and took Caleb’s other hand.

“I’m not going to leave you again.” he said. “I swear it on...on my grave. Gods, that’s such a weird thing to say.”

“Don’t promise something like that.” Caleb said. “You don’t know if it’s true.” Molly leaned over to kiss Caleb.

“I know it’s true.” he whispered. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here, by your side. I love you too much for anything else.” Caleb returned the kiss.

“OK.” he said. “ _Schatz,_ I….”

“Well, we got lucky.” a gruff voice said. Caleb froze, his hands tightening around Molly’s. He remembered that voice. “A member of the Mighty Nein and a _tiefling_. They pay good money for your kind in the brothels.” He turned, his hand raised, ready to fight. Standing in front of them was a tall, muscular human man with a shaved head and poorly-fitting leather armor. Behind him loomed several other men in the same state. It was the bandits who had taken him from the Nein. They were all carrying nasty looking swords in various states of disrepair.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I already have a job, thank you.” Molly said, smiling coldly at them. “If you know he’s one of the Mighty Nein, you know there’s a lot more of us, and you really don’t want to face our full might.”

“Oh, I know the rest of the Nein aren’t anywhere near you.” the man said, smirking. “We’ve met before.”

“Oh?” Molly said. “Are you the ones who shot Caleb?”

“We should have shot higher.” a skinny man missing most of his teeth snarled from the back.

“Then we wouldn’t have gotten another chance at that bounty.” the leader said. Molly dropped Caleb’s hands and reached into his coat to pull out a dagger that Caleb was fairly certain had used to belong to him. He smiled at the man again and slashed the weapon across his chest. Blood started to trickle down his chest, and the dagger glowed blue.

“What the fuck?! What the _fuck_?!” one of the bandits screamed as Molly lunged for the leader. Caleb raised his hands and sent a fire bolt at the tall bandit, who tried to dive out of the way but was too slow. The lead bandit swung his heavy broadsword at Molly, who ducked and got in another stab with the dagger. There was a whistle, and an arrow stuck into Caleb’s shoulder. It didn’t go in very deep, and he tucked it out without too much pain. He shot another fire bolt at the tall bandit and hit him directly in the chest. The man screamed and fell to the road unconscious. The scent of burning flesh filled the air, and Caleb shoved down the urge to run into the bushes and vomit. Molly yelled, and Caleb turned to see him stumbling back from the bandit leader, blood spreading across his shirt.

“FICH DICH!” Caleb screamed at the leader and fired three magic missiles at him. They all hit him in the chest, and he stumbled backwards.

“I’m OK, Caleb!” Molly shouted, lunging at the leader with his dagger again. “It’s just a scratch!” Caleb smiled, turned, and was immediately hit in the chest with another arrow. It didn’t stick and fell to the road. He raised his hands and sent a fire bolt screaming through the air to hit the intrepid archer, who had climbed up onto their cart to get a better aim. He was taking aim again when he felt something slash across his stomach. The final bandit had appeared in front of him and had cut him with his broadsword. Caleb reacted instinctively and cast Inflict Wounds, shoving his hands against the man’s chest. The man screamed and fell to the ground, dead.

“Hey! That was my best friend!” one of the bandits behind the cart yelled, and fired an arrow at Caleb. This one stuck deep in his shoulder, and he grunted. He raised his hands and cast Wall of Fire. Too late, he realized Molly was within the range of the spell.

“ _Molly!_ ” he screamed. Molly dove out of the wall, his hair smoldering, and Caleb ran to him.

“I’m fine, love. Fire resistance, remember?” Molly said, standing up and brushing the dirt from his pants.

“ _Ja, ja._ ” Caleb said, trying to stop his hands from shaking. Molly squeezed his shoulder and picked up the dagger.

“Let’s kick their asses a little more.” he said, kissing Caleb on the cheek and turning back towards the wall of fire. Over the crackling of the flames, they could hear the bandits conferencing.

“Let’s run.” Caleb whispered, sliding his hand into Molly’s daggerless hand. “I need to concentrate on it, but that shouldn’t be too hard.” Molly hesitated.

“OK.” he said. “I want to give them ten times what they gave you, but...we are two and they are way more than two.” They turned to run, then Caleb stopped.

“We should hide instead.” he muttered. “They’ll catch us if we run.”

“OK. I’ll follow you.” Molly said. They started to go into the thicket. Suddenly, out of the wall of fire, an arrow came screaming. It was heavy, and the flames had lit the feathers on fire. It was aimed directly at Molly. Caleb shoved Molly to the side and took the arrow in the stomach. It _hurt,_ and he shut his eyes for a moment, grimacing. When he opened them, the wall was gone.

“ _Scheiße_ _. Scheiße._ ” he groaned. “Oh, _fuck_ .” Molly grabbed his elbow. “I’m... _fuck_...I’m going to be fine.” Caleb assured him. Molly curled his fingers tighter around the dagger and ran at one of the bandits. The man swung his sword at Molly’s head, but he dodged it and stabbed him in the stomach with his dagger. Caleb shot a Fire Bolt at the leader but missed and hit the cart. Part of the wheel exploded into flames.

“You are a pest, aren’t you?” the leader said, smiling slowly and beginning to walk towards Caleb. The bandit Molly was fighting fell to the ground with a groan, clutching his chest. “You escaped from _us_ , and now you’re killing all of my men.” Caleb hit him in the chest with another Fire Bolt and he staggered backwards a bit. “I’m just trying to make a living here. Your friend could have a nice life, and so could you, if you just let us take you. We could all benefit here.” Molly paused in his fighting to yell something in Infernal at the leader, and he clutched his head in confusion. “What the fuck?”

“You messed with the wrong group, you highway scum.” Caleb snarled, and raised his hands to cast another, final Fire Bolt at the leader. There was a shout, and he turned to see the bandit Molly was fighting raise his sword and stab it through Molly’s chest. Caleb let out a wild scream, and his vision seemed to blur with _rage_ . Fire blossomed from his hands, and a fireball exploded on the ground in the center of the bandits. It consumed everything, and he dove out of the way. As he hit the dirt, he felt his consciousness fading. “ _Molly._ ” he whispered, and blacked out.

 

\-------

 

“He’s not waking up! He’s dead! We just found him, and he’s dead!” a familiar high-pitched voice was saying. Caleb opened his eyes and squinted up at Jester Lavorre, who was crouching over him, her face inches from his.

“Um... _hallo_ , Jester.” he said. Jester shrieked and pulled him into a rib-crushing embrace.

“CALEB!” she screamed. Caleb put his arms around her. Despite the suffocating hug, he was glad to see her. “HE’S NOT DEAD!”

“Caleb!” Jester let go of him, and Nott ducked under her arms to give him a tight hug. “You’re alive!”

“Where’s Molly?” Caleb asked when they were done hugging him. “Where’s everyone else? How did you get here?”

“We were coming up this road to come get you, silly!” Jester exclaimed. “It was a little hard to miss the huge ball of fire in the middle of the road. Everyone else went to deal with the bandits.”

“They’re all dead.” Nott assured him. “Clay wanted to bury them.”

“Molly...is he…” Caleb asked.

“Oh, he’s fine. We made him leave. He wouldn’t stop hovering.” Nott said. “Jester wanted to keep him in sight at all times, but I think the others can make sure he doesn't get eaten by a tree or something.”

“Can that happen?” Jester asked, her eyes going wide. There was a crunching of leaves, and the rest of the Mighty Nein came up the slope of the road towards them. Molly ducked his way around Caduceus and Fjord to run over to Caleb.

“What were you _thinking_ , using a spell that affected you, you...you…” he sputtered, swooping Caleb up into a tight hug.

“I wasn’t thinking.” Caleb said into his shoulder.

“I know.” Molly said. “But we’re fine, everything’s fine, no one died.” He kissed Caleb on the lips, which caused Jester to start shrieking.

“YES!!!!” she screamed. “FINALLY!!! YES!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! BEAU, YOU OWE ME 20 GOLD!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“That bet is over a year old now, Jester, I do not owe you 20 gold.” Beau grumbled. She walked over to thump Caleb on the shoulder. “Glad you’re alive.” Caduceus walked over and gave Caleb a big, soft hug.

“He’s not undead, don’t worry.” he said, nodding at Molly. “I checked. He is _very_ colorful.”

“So are you, Clay.” Beau pointed out. “I want to go see if the bandits have anything worth taking.” Jester bounced after her. Fjord came over to give Caleb a hug.

“I’m happy you two figured things out.” he said. “We are all. I was getting tired of Molly pining before...you know.” Yasha appeared behind him and smiled at Caleb.

“I missed you.” she said. Caleb went to give her a hug.

“Oh! Yasha! We got you flowers!” Molly exclaimed. He began to rummage through the pack on Caleb’s back and pulled out the handful of flowers they had bought in Hupperdook. Yasha took them and beamed.

“They’re perfect, Molly.” she said. She tucked them into a pouch on her belt and embraced them both.

“We found gold!” Jester sang, skipping over from the cart. “And there are so many swords. Fjord, do you want them?”

“I’m good, thank you Jester.” Fjord said. “My falchion is fine as it is.” Nott came over to Caleb and slipped her hand into his.

“Let’s go home now.” Jester said. “We’ve got everything we could need now.” She shot a mischievous look over at Caleb and Molly. They all clambered into the cart. Caduceus took the reigns, and with a lurch they began to move down the road and towards Zadash.

 

\------

 

They took their time getting back. There was so much to catch up on, and so much to do together. Molly had loved the weeks alone with Caleb, but it felt so much better to be traveling with all of his friends again. Every time Caleb and Molly went within a foot of each other, which was most of the time, Jester would start giggling and Nott would start hovering around Molly, watching him like a hawk, but that was the only real downside to being back with the group. He spent as much quality time with Yasha as he could, and he made a point to get to know Caduceus. He liked the firbolg immensely, especially since he had been looking after Caleb. It helped that Caduceus had possibly the best hair Molly had ever seen.

“So….you’re from a graveyard.” he said one day, leaning his arms on the bank of the river they were relaxing next to. He was floating in the water, enjoying the cool feeling of the current tugging his legs this way and that. Caduceus was sunbathing with his hat over his eyes, Jester and Nott were doing Caleb’s hair and giggling, and Yasha was floating peacefully in the center of the water. Beau was lurking by the shore watching her and clearly trying to get up the courage to go swim next to her. “Why’d you leave?”

“People needed my help.” Caduceus said casually. “And then I just...wanted to get out into the world, I suppose. Not much adventure in a graveyard.”

“No, not really. Just a lot of dirt.” Molly said. There was a splash and a yell as Fjord swam up and dunked Beau into the water. Jester shrieked in joy and abandoned her hairstyling to join the one-sided splash fight. “I missed those assholes.” Molly said affectionately.

“I don’t think they’re assholes.” Caduceus said, removing his hat to watch Fjord being thrown at least thirty feet downstream by Jester. “They just...don’t always act kindly. But they are kind.”

“I guess you’re right.” Molly said. Yasha swam up to him and joined him on the edge of the shore. “Too much splashing?”

“Jester is having too much fun.” Yasha said. Molly laughed and leaned into her. Caleb wandered over to sit next to Caduceus. His hair was full of flowers and pink ribbons.

“You look...nice?” Molly said, frowning at the interesting hairstyle that Nott and Jester had created.

“They just wanted to interrogate me about our….activities.” Caleb said, rolling his pants up and sticking his legs into the water. “It was very intense.” Molly patted his knee sympathetically.

“We should have thought of this before we fell in love.” he said. “I’m afraid Nott is going to corner me with a knife and threaten me with kneecap removal if I make any wrong moves towards you.”

“She hasn’t already?” Caleb asked.

“Don’t worry, if you hurt Molly I will stab you many times with my sword and then string you up for the crows.” Yasha said seriously. “This is a mutual threatening.”

“I’m glad you both have good friends looking after you.” Caduceus said, smiling. Jester exploded out of the water and came running down the path towards them.

“CALEB, YOU LOOK A LITTLE TOO DRY!” she hollered, and picked Caleb up to tip him into the water. He came up spluttering, his hair and the ribbons in it pasted to his forehead.

“Jester, you are a menace.” Molly said. Caleb splashed over to float next to him.

“You are lucky I am not wearing my coat.” he said, frowning at her. “That could have ruined my books.” Jester beamed at him. Molly leaned over to fix the ribbons, and at once Nott appeared next to Jester with a toothy smile on her face. “Nott, he is just fixing my hair.” Caleb sighed.

“I’ve read enough of Jester’s books to know that it’s not _just_ fixing hair.” Nott said, folding her arms and squinting suspiciously. Molly smirked at her and leaned over to kiss Caleb slowly on the cheek. Jester squealed, and Nott glared. “I _know_ you’re naked down there, Mollymauk Tealeaf.” she said. “ _Don’t be trying any funny business_.” Caleb sank below the water, blushing.

They rolled into Zadash in the evening. The setting sun threw golden light and sharp shadows over the city. They parked the cart outside of the Leaky Tap and, after securing rooms, marched out into the city to take advantage of what little light was left. Molly had never thought he would be so glad to see the gray walls and cobbled streets. They ate at a fancy restaurant in the Trispiries that Jester had been dying to try.

“We have to celebrate!” she yelled when the others muttered about how they didn’t think they fit there. It was delicious, especially after a month of living off of dried meat and berries. When they were done with eating, Jester dragged them off to visit the bakery and buy as many pastries as her pockets could hold, then Caleb gently steered them to a bookstore. He agonized for a long time over one particular history book, until finally Molly borrowed a few coins from Jester and bought it for him.

“You deserve nice things, love.” he said when Caleb tried to pay him back. “I’m your boyfriend. It’s my job to buy you things.” He kissed Caleb on the lips and flipped Nott, who was frowning at them from behind a bookshelf, off. As they were walking down the street, the sound of fiddles drifted through the air towards them.

“ _Dancing_!” Jester shrieked, and grabbed Fjord's hand. “We have to go!” She ran towards the sound, and the rest of the Nein trailed after her. It was similar to the street dancing Caleb and Molly had found in Hupperdook, just a lot less chaotic and and with fewer fireworks. Jester pulled Fjord with her onto the dance floor and joined the lively waltz that was playing.

“Would you like to dance with me, Yasha?” Caduceus asked, smiling sweetly.

“All right.” Yasha said, and they waltzed off, carving a path through the other dancers.

“Mollymauk?” Caleb asked, holding out his hand.

“Of course, my love.” Molly said, taking it. He followed Caleb's lead, draping his tail neatly over his arm so that it didn't hit the other dancers. They shifted steps with the music, and soon they were lost in their own world. The tune changed to an energetic tango, and Molly took the lead. They cut across the dance floor, their boots thudding into the stone. Jester cheered from somewhere else in the square.

“Stop touching Caleb’s butt, Molly!” Nott yelled. Molly, whose hand was close to Caleb’s butt but not on it, moved it down an inch and shot a mischievous look in Nott’s direction. Caleb sighed.

As people started to drift away from the dance floor to return home, the music changed to a slow dance. Caleb leaned his chin on Molly’s shoulder and slid his hands up to his back.

“Things are good now.” he murmured. “We’re all back together, and you’re alive, and…” He trailed off. Molly smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“I don’t think they’ll stop being good.” he said. “Not while you’re here.” As the musicians slowed into the ending of the piece, Molly and Caleb paused in the center of the square to kiss. They ignored the cheers of their friends, the final chord of the dance, the other dancers. It was just them, alone and together, bodies pressed together and hands winding their ways around the other’s hair. It was all they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the whole Kiri scene late at night whilest babysitting and I have to say, I'm very proud of it! Thanks for sticking through this looonggg fanfic (/s), hope you'll go look at my other stuff! None of which is completed, other than another rez fic and a Merlin crackfic. I love you. <3


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